Kaiju and Cruise Ships

Last night I had a dream that I was camping with my family. Everything was going fine until giant kaiju rained down from outer space. I immediately knew three things: 1) it was the end of the word, 2) I could not safely travel anywhere, and 3) my tent was probably not going to be adequate protection.

(Full disclosure, about 85% of my dreams involve apocalypse-type scenarios.)

We were all running around trying to make the campground as secure as possible, knowing that it was hopeless but not having any alternative, when suddenly something giant crashed through our outer fence. Rampaging monster? No, here was my Uncle David in a ridiculous captain’s outfit and mirrored shades. Gold fringe on the shoulders and everything.

It turns out that my Uncle David had been preparing for just such a situation and had bought and retrofitted an old cruise ship. It was a combination of armor plated hull and state of the art interior that had also been modified to drive on land. I’m not sure how it was fueled, but since it had been designed to hold so many people, it was well stocked with food and amenities to last all of our lifetimes, and then some. It was virtually indestructable.

Luxurious battlecruiser thus prepared, he was driving around the country picking up Halbachs. Next on the list was my dad, and we set off.

Now that I’m awake and I can look at the whole thing logically, I think I can say with certainty that there is a 30% chance that this is actually how the world ends. It is not outside the realm of possibility that my Uncle Dave (or any number of other Halbachs, I’m looking at you Uncle Jim) is retrofitting a battle cruise ship as we speak. It would also not be totally unexpected if they suddenly showed up in it (wearing a captain’s outfit).

Brain, I Will Defeat You!

I stayed up too late last night baking bread. Yes, baking bread (also known as being an *extreme party animal*). When I finally crawled into bed at the extremely late hour of 10:30, my sleepy brain whispered to me, “Tomorrow is Friday, you don’t have to get up until 6:30.”

“Seems reasonable,” I mumbled back, setting the alarm. “6:30, yeah. Fridays are different, so I can sleep in. Zzzzzzzzzz.”

At 6:28 this morning I woke with a shock and said, “CURSE YOU TIRED BRAIN! You’ve outwitted me again!”

He may have won this time, but this I vow: from this moment forward, I will devote myself to defeating this brain of mine. He thinks he’s so smart! Let’s see how he fares against an onslaught of Buzzfeed lists, games of Flappy Bird, and Miley Cyrus videos.

I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH!

10 Years a Blogger

10 years ago today I wrote my very first blog post.

10 years is like 1,000 years in Internet time. By Internet standards, I’m definitely a dinosaur. I predate smartphones, Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook only beat me by 13 days. Myspace was less than a year old in Feb. 2004. Friends was still on the air!

Forget Internet time, 10 years is a long time to do anything. 10 years ago I didn’t have kids. I wasn’t married. I didn’t live in Chicago. I wasn’t writing, knitting, or even really cooking anything more complicated than a frozen pizza. Apparently, judging by all my early posts, 10 years ago I was also the whiniest emo crybaby on the planet.

This is my 1,887th post. I have 2,855 comments here on the blog proper (not counting anything on Facebook, Glipho, Google+, etc.) I’ve been interviewed about blogging, been a guest blogger, and received a comment from a childhood hero.

I don’t know if I really have anything to say about it that I haven’t covered before. I mean, in 10 years I think I’ve pretty much used up all the words. So, sorry future generations, I’m the reason there are no more words left.

Who knew that when I started this thing I’d still be doing it 10 years later? I’m definitely proud of that as an achievement. Someone commented on my first post and asked if this was the first blog post in recorded history. The funny thing was, when I started a blog I knew lots of people who had been doing it for a lot longer than me. The difference is, none of them are still doing it. The vast majority of blogs don’t make it to 1 year, much less 10. So, you know, congratulations to me or whatever.

I’m not really sure what the future will bring, as far as blogging goes. It’s still something I enjoy quite a bit, but I periodically change directions around here as well. If it ever stops being enjoyable, I have to do something new to keep it interesting. Maybe that’s the secret to making it 10 years. Probably not, though; I’d have to attribute that more to pigheaded persistence than anything else. I’m nothing if not relentless!

Anyway, I hate to say here’s to 10 more years because I don’t know if I’ll still want to be doing this in 10 years. I’ll be in my 40s(!!). Ollie will be on the verge of being a teenager, and Evie will be getting ready to drive (in her FLYING CAR). Besides, by that time the two of them will have long since killed me for all the embarrassment this blog has caused them.

The Moka Pot

Ohhhhh you guys. Oh man. I’ve got a long and sordid tale to tell you. It starts, as all good tales do, with coffee, and ends with a wondrous little invention called the moka pot.

I’ve been periodically documenting my decline into a raving coffee addict, and I believe I’ve just entered a new and exciting phase. Although I dearly love espresso, I have been perfectly happy with my regular old 4-cup, standard (drip) coffee pot (unless I can convince my sister-in-law to lug her espresso maker to our house whenever she visits). Sara, however, not so much. The thought of hot water traveling through all that BPA-laden plastic sends shivers down her spine. She has mostly tried to stick her her cold-brewed coffee, but making it is a hassle in the extreme, and often not really worth it. So occasionally she had to resort to regular drip coffee, BPA and all.

It occurred to me that there were many different ways to make coffee, each with their own pros and cons, but surely there had to be a method out there that didn’t have any plastic parts. After some research (yes, I will research anything, even coffee making) we finally settled on a French press. Simple, straight-forward, time honored, and very similar to making cold brewed coffee. Several members of my family are already French press converts.

Finally, one day at Target and we decided enough was enough, and it was time to bite the bullet. We took a look at their fine array of French presses, and there was not a single one that didn’t have plastic. Frustrated, we decided we would look online when we got home. However, down at the end of the row, was a little Bialetti moka pot, with the coffee part made entirely of aluminum.

I had come across the moka pot in my research, but seeing it there in the flesh at Target somehow piqued my interest. However, we didn’t buy it then and there (did I mention I’m a researcher?). Strangely enough, just a few days later Sara had an amazing cup of coffee at a friend’s house, who happened to own a moka pot. The rest, as they say, is history.

This thing is awesome. It’s an espresso maker, but without all the crazy parts or fancy techniques. It’s kind of like one of the old percolator pots, though the brewing mechanism is entirely different. You just put in the water, espresso, and set it on the stove. That’s it. Ours makes enough for Sara and I in just under 7 minutes.

The Internet tells me that it’s not *exactly* espresso. The mechanism is the same, but it produces coffee at a mere 1 bar of pressure, rather than the required 9 bar. I don’t doubt that someone can make better espresso, but for a simple, low-cost, hunk of aluminum, my mouth can’t taste the difference. This thing makes *amazing* coffee.

One hard thing to get used to with drinking espresso is that you’re drinking a lot smaller volume. Think quality, not quantity. It turns out that a lot of my coffee drinking was more just to have something to do. You must not drink the same volume of espresso as I used to drink of coffee (or else there will be a *lot* more blog posts around here!).

So, moka pot. Highly recommended. It will change your life.

Quote Monday drinks a lot of smoothies

Ollie: “Mommies and daddies are needed for itchy people.”

Poor, itchy eczema boy.

Evie was working by herself at the table for awhile with scissors and paper. Eventually, she made Ollie a “nametag” and taped it on his chest (you know, so we would know his name I guess). Then she went back to work. “I’m making you a nametag too!” she said to Sara. Sara was doing dishes, so she wasn’t paying too much attention. After a while Evie finished up and, since Sara was facing the sink, pinned it instead on Sara’s back. Sara wore it around for a few hours until they got ready to go somewhere.

Evie: “Um, mama? Your nametag actually says ‘Pinch Me'”.

::We were sitting at a stop sign by our house and a big tanker truck went down a dead end::
Me: “I don’t think he’s going the right way.”
Evie: “Maybe it’s full of smoothies and he’s going to B’Gabs!”