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Quote Monday is argumentative

Me: “Do you think there will ever come a time when I will be able to sit down and drink an entire cup of coffee?”
Sara: “…”
Sara: “Wait, I’m still calculating. 2034.”

Me: “I’m just trying to be argumentative like my daughter, and automatically take the opposite viewpoint of anything you say.”
Evelyn: “I don’t necessarily do that…”

Sara: “Evelyn, we should have [your friend] over for dinner sometime.”
Ollie: “And can [her friend]’s dad come to? He just seems like a fun guy.”

Alex, The Shrieking Goat

Alex becomes more opinionated every day. We have now entered a phase where, once he makes a demand, you have about 8 seconds to comply before he begins shrieking at the top of his lungs.

That is pure, unadulterated rage, my friends. “MAMA I SAID PICK ME UP RIGHT NOWWWWWWW!!”

Right away I knew what it reminded me of. Now whenever he starts doing it, I start playing this on my phone:

Strangely, that doesn’t make him feel better.

Evelyn’s Typewriter

Evelyn wanted only one thing for Christmas: a typewriter. Now mostly this was due to the fact that her parents are the worst: she wanted to type stories but was tired of having to earn computer time with chores. A typewriter is not a computer, ergo, no need to ask permission.

Now as a writer, I felt this this was a TREMENDOUSLY AMAZING idea that I wanted wholeheartedly to encourage (and honestly, felt bad to realize I was restricting her writing time so thoroughly)(and also write all my first drafts longhand, so cry me a river, sister)

“How hard can it be to find a typewriter?” I foolishly wondered.

It seems like there are two choices: pay ~$150 for a new typewriter (seriously? More than a tv?) or else go on the Internet and pay for an “antique” that may or may not work and you will probably never be able to buy ink for.

Needless to say, neither I nor Santa were able to come up with one.

Evelyn was pretty bummed out, and I was pretty bummed out, but I promised her that I would take her around to thrift shops to look for typewriters. Armed with advice from some writer friends who collect typewriters, we set out.

It actually worked out perfectly; I think it actually worked better than if I had given her one for her for Christmas. It took us 4 stops to find one, so we had to work for it, but it wasn’t impossible. I kept telling her, “Now honey, I don’t know if we’re going to be able to find one…” so by the time we found it she had already accepted that she wasn’t getting one. And then we found one, and it was only $8, and she reverently paid for it with her own money, and everything was magical.

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We stopped at another store on the way home and Evelyn was so nervous that someone was going to break into the car to steal the typewriter. After all, what could be more amazing and precious?

I was expecting more of an old dinosaur, manual typewriter, not a sleek, modern electric, but I have to tell you, I was feeling a little of the Christmas magic myself when we found it. I guess Evelyn wasn’t the only one trying to keep her hopes in check. And not only that, but I’ve been searching for the perfect alarm clock and found it for only $6. (I didn’t know I had such strong opinions about alarm clocks until I started looking and found they are all THE. WORST.)

Hooray for typewriters! Hooray for thrift stores! Hooray for the magic of Christmas!

Quote Monday is going to end up on youtube

Evelyn: “Can somebody take him?”
Me: “Evelyn, picking up your brother is like picking up trash off the ground. You should have left it alone, but now you’re responsible for it.”

Sara made me write that one down.

Ollie: “Every number is a word if you put an ‘H’ in front of it. ‘Zero’ turns into ‘Hero’. ‘Hun’ like, ‘come here hon’, ‘Who’ like, ‘who is it?’, ‘He’ like ‘him’, ‘Whore’ like ‘horror’…”
Ollie: “What? Why are you laughing?”

Ollie: “I wish I could possess mommy and daddy. Because then we could have candy whenever we want.”

::Sara getting the mail::
UPS Guy: “That package wasn’t me. I think the mailman is going to end up on youtube…”

 

Free Fiction – Her Path Lay Forward on Cast of Wonders

I almost missed this one, since it came out on Christmas day as a special Christmas episode! I am very pleased to present my story “Her Path Lay Forward” in the PREMIER young adult, audio fiction magazine, Cast of Wonders.

My story is the second story in the episode, starting around minute 14 (although I don’t recommend you skip my friend Dave‘s story in the first half, of course!)

Here is the “story behind the story” for Her Path Lay Forward:

My children were looking at the scorecard of the excellent game Dixit, and they were debating about the character facing down the dragon in the picture.

I overheard their discussion: “I think it’s an old woman,” said my daughter. “No,” said my son, “it must be a boy. An old woman can’t fight a dragon.”

An old woman can too fight a dragon! In fact the more I thought about it, the more I thought an old woman was the PERFECT person to fight a dragon.

Specifically my grandmother Agnes is one of the strongest, most capable people I have ever met, and no matter how difficult a task she has been faced with in her life, she always does what needs done.

Alex’s First Birthday

I don’t know if I should start by saying “my how time flies” or “look how far we’ve come”.

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Alex babbles basically non-stop. Whoever thought we could have a kid that talks MORE than the two we already have? He basically understands everything that you’re saying to him, even if he can’t answer back as much as he’d like. For example, he can point to every body part if you ask him, as well as basically everything in the house.

For some reason he can shake his head “no” just fine, but when he tries to shake “yes” he does it with his entire body. This makes for a VERY ENTHUSIASTIC yes, especially when you understand what he’s saying (usually by handing him something he wants or taking him somewhere he wants to go). If you ask him, “How old is Alex?” he will stick up one finger, he will make a goofy face on command, and he can stick out his tongue.

Okay, so here’s a list of things that he says. Some of these were actually after his birthday but before I wrote this post (there are pretty much new things on the hour these days):

“Na na” can mean many things: no, Nala, banana, or that emoji thing that Evelyn gave him for Christmas. “Da da” can mean me, or sometimes dog. “Da” (singular) means down. “Ma ma” means Sara, of course, but also sometimes more. “Ma” (singular) means cat (as in “meow”). He can say door, bird, apple, “vroom” (for car), “whoo” (for owl), up, “wa wa” (for water), bib, and book.

He also signs some additional words, like more, all done, eat, water, train, banana, book, bath, night night, “yummy”, milk, and book.

We were keeping track of how many steps he took in a row, but he’s pretty much just straight up walking now. He can also climb up the stairs, which makes it tricky for trying to watch him downstairs. His favorite toys are anything he can carry around the house while walking, but seriously, his all-time favorite toy right now is just the little cookies from the Melissa & Doug set play-kitchen set.

He continues to have strong opinions about food, and he definitely has a sweet tooth (bananas are still his favorite). We hadn’t really given him any dessert until the holidays, but now that he knows what it is, he absolutely flips out if we try to eat any without him. He doesn’t really like to drink anything.

All in all, Alex definitely keeps us on our toes! He is now officially a typical, talkative, opinionated one year old!

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12 Month Comparison Photos

12-month-comparison

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