Free Audio Fiction by Me: “Copy Machine” on Toasted Cake!

I am very pleased to announce my story “Copy Machine” is now available in audio on the podcast Toasted Cake.

Tina is the perfect narrator for this story. I have always believed this story was *perfect* for Toasted Cake, so much so that I had to wait through a TWO YEAR HIATUS at my shot to send it in.

TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Toasted Cake is one of my all time favorite podcasts. IN FACT, I actually wrote Tina a fan letter five years ago:

But anyway, I just wanted to say that I love weird fiction and my favorite magazine is the drabblecast. But toasted cake is like the photo-negative of the drabblecast. It’s like all the weirdness without all the darkness (or maybe quite as much darkness?). Don’t get me wrong, I like the darkness, but I guess I never really realized how much I like the more poetic, light-hearted side of weird fiction too until I had it all assembled for me.

Specifically, one of the smattering of episodes I listened to was episode 24: Zing Zou Zou. This story has really been haunting me since I listened to it. The funny thing is, I think that if I had read that story I wouldn’t have liked it. But your reading (and singing!) really made the story. I think that one really is better out loud (I can see why it would work as a play). Which is a long way of saying, you don’t podcast in vain!

Anyway, fan letter.

I never miss an episode of Toasted Cake, which is not hard because the episodes are so short! Go give my story a listen; it will take less than 10 minutes.

 

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Quote Monday makes a tasty snack

Evelyn: “Is Thanksgiving always on a Thursday?”
Me: “Yes.”
Evelyn: “Oh, because of Black Friday.”

Obviously the pilgrims wouldn’t have wanted Thanksgiving to interrupt their big shopping day.

Oliver: “Evelyn, will you come downstairs with me? I’m scared.”
Evelyn: “No! Last time you  made me go first and shouted, ‘Here comes a tasty snack!'”

Vania: “P is for…porcupine.”
::Alex pretends to eat porcupine from book::
Vania: “I know a little boy who ate a porcupine…”
Alex: “Perhaps I’ll die.”

“Omg squirrel trapped in garage with me”

Yesterday I had an all-morning work training to attend. At the beginning, the trainer made a big deal about how distracting our phones are, and how we should make sure they’re off, put them away, etc. Being the rule-follower that I am, of course I complied.

I mean, I don’t mean to act like that was a big deal. I’m not some high powered business executive; most mornings I don’t receive any texts at all.

Except THIS morning…THIS morning I received something a little bit more interesting. When I got around to checking my phone at lunch time I had a series of frantic texts from Sara, starting with, “Omg squirrel trapped in garage with me”

“Hope it will run out now!!!” she continued.
“It is either out or hiding”
“Was running up garage door when I first noticed it”

And then? Nothing. Not for a whole hour after. Was it rabid? Did she escape? WAS SHE DEAD?

Naturally, I texted her immediately and got the rest of the story. So it seems like maybe the squirrel came in when she drove into the garage, or maybe it was already there. When she got out of the car to get Alex out, it was *climbing up the garage door*, a few feet from her head. Natch, she dove back in the car, abandoning the field to the squirrel, and started furiously texting me.

A real Cujo situation here.

She opened the garage door, and hoped for the best. After a while, she didn’t hear anything. So probably the squirrel is not in the garage anymore, right?

Right?

Free Fiction by Me – Random Play All and the League of Awesome

CoW promo 279

I am delighted to announce that my story “Random Play All and the League of Awesome” is now available in audio on the Cast of Wonders podcast!

To quote myself from a different blog post:

I can not overstate how much I love trivial superpowers. As anyone who knew me growing up could tell you, I’ve always loved super heroes. From dressing up as one as a kid (or, er, as an adult), to collecting comic books, to apparel, movies, and video games, to the absolutely embarrassing number of times I’ve listened to Dr. Horrible.

But I never liked the idea of guys like Superman or Thor. I don’t want an unstoppable goody-two shoes. Show me a guy who doesn’t have it so easy. Show me a guy with just a *little* bit of power, and the wit and courage to use that little bit at just the right moment to make a *huge* difference.

This is one of my all time favorite stories, and I’m so glad it is available for free (it has appeared twice before previously in “paper book” form).

Go give it a listen!

Let it be known

The top search term to reach my blog in the past 365 days is “butt“.

 

And it’s not even close.

 

(We’re talking by a factor of 5 here)

Evelyn’s First Piano Recital

Evelyn had her first piano recital over the weekend, and she did great. She has been taking piano for a couple of years now, but we have been pretty low key about the whole thing and this is the first time she has performed.

I was really surprised at how nervous she was! She typically has absolutely NO stage fright, and has performed on stage for audiences many, many times this size (including singing and dancing!) without being nervous at all. So I was really surprised at how nervous she was! She said later that it was hard not to make mistakes due to how hard her hands were shaking (just in case you’re not a piano player, I can let you in on a little secret: it’s really hard to play the piano without the use of your hands).

When she sat down afterwards she just gave me the BIGGEST smile.

I have to tell you that there is almost nothing the kids can do that makes me as happy as to hear them playing piano. Evelyn has long ago eclipsed my own musical ability, and Oliver is pretty close. When I see them playing it’s just like magic. Absolute magic. I often just laugh out loud when they’re practicing because it seems so crazy that their fingers are doing these things. How are their fingers doing these things!

I love it. I want them to never stop taking piano.

Quote Monday is life or death

Me: “… It’s not like it’s life or death.”
Evelyn: “It’s life or death to my reputation!”

::sigh:: Are we to this level already?

Sara: “If you had a baby, what would you call it?”
Alex: “I don’t want to call it.”

Me: “What’s that?”
Evelyn: “My books for the car.”
Me: Why are there 4 of them?”
Evelyn: “Because I’m awesome.”

Alex: “I love Evie, then Aye-ya.”
Alex: “…in the car.”
Sara: “What if Oliver was in the car instead?”
Alex: “Then I love Aye-ya, then Evie. That’s how it goes!”