Last night I had a dream that I was camping with my family. Everything was going fine until giant kaiju rained down from outer space. I immediately knew three things: 1) it was the end of the word, 2) I could not safely travel anywhere, and 3) my tent was probably not going to be adequate protection.

(Full disclosure, about 85% of my dreams involve apocalypse-type scenarios.)

We were all running around trying to make the campground as secure as possible, knowing that it was hopeless but not having any alternative, when suddenly something giant crashed through our outer fence. Rampaging monster? No, here was my Uncle David in a ridiculous captain’s outfit and mirrored shades. Gold fringe on the shoulders and everything.

It turns out that my Uncle David had been preparing for just such a situation and had bought and retrofitted an old cruise ship. It was a combination of armor plated hull and state of the art interior that had also been modified to drive on land. I’m not sure how it was fueled, but since it had been designed to hold so many people, it was well stocked with food and amenities to last all of our lifetimes, and then some. It was virtually indestructable.

Luxurious battlecruiser thus prepared, he was driving around the country picking up Halbachs. Next on the list was my dad, and we set off.

Now that I’m awake and I can look at the whole thing logically, I think I can say with certainty that there is a 30% chance that this is actually how the world ends. It is not outside the realm of possibility that my Uncle Dave (or any number of other Halbachs, I’m looking at you Uncle Jim) is retrofitting a battle cruise ship as we speak. It would also not be totally unexpected if they suddenly showed up in it (wearing a captain’s outfit).