The Race

Another year, another 5k in the books! And as usual, the face paint game was on point:

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Unfortunately we were really too busy to do much in the way of practicing this year. I think we only managed a few, and never more than about 2 miles. So that’s why it was a bit surprising that I got a personal record! 34:37 this year; SIX WHOLE SECONDS better than last year. 🙂

I think it just speaks to how much healthier I am overall than I was even a year ago, to be able to improve my time with almost no practice. In fact, I’m proud of the entire family for being able to run sub-35 minute 5ks at the drop of a hat!  (And if you’re wondering if I sprinted ahead at the last minute and beat Sara by 13 seconds, yes. Yes I did.)

Two years ago, Oliver ran 32:57 and won his age group. Unfortunately we didn’t see that coming, and left before his name was announced. If you remember the story from last year, he ran even *faster* (29:13), only to be beaten by a different kid named Oliver!

BUT

We later found out that the Oliver who won was actually riding a bike! So our Oliver DID win his age group for a second year in a row, and he missed out on his moment of glory a second time!

This year he somehow improved by several minutes once again, throwing down an amazing 27:13! Unfortunately, he also jumped up an age group, which means he’s competing against 14 year olds, and he only came in 17th in his age group.

Sorry buddy. You did run your heart out though, and beat your parents by a landslide.

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Alex has been insisting that he was going to run this race. Usually he can make it about…half a block maybe? So we were all set to have him do the kids’ dash. He waited all day for it, and was super excited. He lined up and Sara and I got ready to take the inevitable adorable pictures, when…he just didn’t. He wouldn’t go. Just stood at the starting line watching everybody else run.

Eventually Evelyn picked him up and ran down to the finish line, where he received a medal. “I’m really proud of my metal!” he confided to Sara the next day.

As long as everybody is happy.

Afterwards we were all quick to replenish those calories we had so carelessly wasted running around for no reason…

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I guess that’s another one in the books!

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Quote Monday goes fliparoonies

Alex: “The last donut made the ouchies feel better.”

Same.

Alex: “Today we’re going to go to the museum.”
Me: “Oh yeah? You have to talk to Vania about that. She might say, ‘We already went to the museum this week, I want to go somewhere different.'”
Alex: “Yeah, she might say, ‘I’m tired of museums, today I want to go FLIPAROONIES!”

Alex: “[Ollie]’s up from the table. I assume he’s not going to have dessert?”

You know, at least if he’s repeating you it means SOMEBODY has heard you!

::guy aggressively tailgating me::
Me: “This guy is literally in my trunk.”
::The blood drains from Ollie’s face as he slowly turns to look behind him::

Okay, that one is on me, although I’d like to think I would have been a little less calm if there was *literally* a guy in the back of the car!

Quote Monday is from a different generation

Sara: “What’s your homework?”
Evelyn: “I need to practice clarinet and reed. Get it? Reed?”
Sara: “Wakka wakka.”
Evelyn: “Is that the ‘ba dum ching’ of your generation?”

Evelyn: “Does this look like a sheep?”
Me: “…yes.”
Evelyn: “No it doesn’t, but thank you for being a good daddy.”

Alex: “It was *literally* on the edge of the balcony!”

At least he didn’t mean figuratively…he really was literally on the edge of the balcony.

::Alex, giving me a big hug::
Alex: “I love you.”
Alex: “But I also hate you.”

Quote Monday glows in the dark

Alex: “I spy with my little eye something helmety.”
Sara: “Is it that helmet?”
Alex: “Yes!”

Alex: “I saw the truck with the body parts!”
Sara: “The ‘body parts’ are called antlers.”

Ollie: “For supper, can we have BFGs or whatever they’re called?”
Sara: “BLTs??”

Maybe he was hoping for a bacon, fig, and Gruyere?

::Dark, quiet hotel room::
::Tremendous sneeze::
Ollie: “My snot glows in the dark!”

Quote Monday is back from vacation

::Driving around some hairpin turns::
Evelyn: “Well, my sweatshirt’s brown now. We came around a corner, and I had a gasp, and…. I spilled some hot chocolate.”

She wasn’t the only one turning her sweatshirt brown during some of those mountain drives….

::Outside of Wall Drug::
Alex, excited: “Is this Walmart??”

Me: “We have seen buffalo coming out of our wangs!”
Sara: “Why would you say that?!”
Me: “What are you supposed to say again…oh, oh, wazoos!”

Sara, to the kids: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Me: “Not as beautiful as the Bee Movie starring Jerry Seinfeld, apparently.”

Free (Audio) Fiction by Me

(OMG a purple HP Lovecraft peeking out over a small town!)

This story was previously available in print, but I’m VERY please to say they have produced it in audio as well! I am always happy when I can share a story for free to a wider audience!

As long time readers know, I love the horror genre to death, but I write precious little of it these days. So if you’re in the mood for something creepy, see how this strikes you:

It’s an alt-history, steampunk (ethanol-punk?) Civil War / Lovecraft mashup in epistolary format. So if Civil War-era mechs battling tentacle beasts from space is something that sounds like it will appeal to you, 1) you should check this out, and 2) you’re my kind of person.

Listen now!

Quote Monday leaves the big city

::Visiting Muncie, Indiana::
Ollie: “You don’t even have to look both ways before crossing the street!”
Me: “You always have to look before crossing the street.”
::Car passes::
Ollie: “No, see! You can *hear them coming*!”

Evelyn: “This is the kind of street you only read about in books. Where your best friend lives next door.”

Alex: “A pencil!”
Sara: “Just leave it.”
Alex: “But I need it!”
Sara: “But you have many at home.”
Alex: “But I need many and one.”

::On the eve of Evelyn’s birthday::
Evelyn: “Just think 2 years from now I’m going to be saying, ‘this is my last day as a kid’.”

Uh huh.

Alex: “I’m going to weigh myself.”
Me: “What does [the scale] say?”
Alex: “It says big boy!”