From the Mouths of Babes

Quote Monday gives thanks

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Sara: “Today is Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That today is Thanksgiving.”
Sara: “No, I mean like on a daily basis what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That I’m going to eat lots of pie today.”
Sara: “But more in general what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “Cake?”

::passing a homeless person::
Evie: “I used to pretend to be a poor person during relaxing time until you took my blanket upstairs.”

::Pulling up for Thanksgiving::
Ollie: “Are we going trick-or-treating here?”

This was after he had brought in a bunch of Christmas books in the morning, so I think he was a little confused about what exactly Thanksgiving was.

Evie: “The Thanksgiving parade is like the Memorial Day parade, except instead of candy, they could throw chicken!”

::Ollie bursting into tears::
Ollie: “Push me out, push me out! Somebody pushed my chair in!”
Sara: “I think you just ate too much, buddy.”

Quote Monday leads a dangerous life

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Me: “Shots fired! You know, I finally figured out that it’s not always fireworks.”
Sara: “Well, it only took you six years to realize Chicago is not just the most festive city in America.”

Me: “Just making sure it was you and not some knife-killer.”
Sara: “I might be.”
Me: “Hmm, yeah, I guess knowing that it’s you neither confirms or denies whether or not you might try to kill me.”

Me: “…and that tall one there is the Trump Tower.”
Evie: “Isn’t that where the Grinch lives?”
Me: “Uh, I think you’re thinking of Mt. Crumpit, but then again, I guess some people would agree with you.”

Quote Monday has an appetite

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Sara: “What do you want for Christmas? You can ask Santa for anything you want.”
Ollie: “Cake.”

Sara: “What was the best part about going to the restaurant?”
Ollie: “Eating.”
Sara: “What was the best part about eating?”
Ollie: “The mustard.”

Sara: “[Nala] is like, I am old, I don’t care anymore. I am going to bite the people I don’t like, and steal the milk from the children.”

::Man panhandling with a McDonald’s cup::
Evie: “I guess that man didn’t even have enough money to buy cardboard to make a sign!”

Quote Monday follows the law

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Me: “2001? You weren’t even alive in 2001.”
Evie: “Was Jesus still alive in 2001?”

Sara: “Who said you had to eat your lunch before you could eat your cake?”
Evie, scandalized: “Mama, it’s the law.”

::On Halloween::
Evie: “Mama, I can’t eat the rest of this candy bar. I need something healthy to eat.”
::Evie goes and gets some grape Nerds::

Me: “Whoa, this is a scary picture.”
Evie: “Why?”
Me: “She has a knife in her hand!”
Evie: “Oh, I thought it was a carrot.”

Lions and Tigers and Bears oh my

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Sara: “Ollie, would you like to be a ring bearer?”
Ollie: “No!”
Sara, surprised: “No? Why not?”
Ollie: “I not a bear.”

Evie: “I did not! You’re lying!”
Oliver, going bonkers: “No! I’m not!”
::crying::
Oliver: “I’m not a lion, you’re a lion!”
::laughing by the rest of us::
Me: “Evie, tell your brother he’s not a lion.”
Ollie, sullen: “And I’m not a tiger, either!”

He was more upset about being called a lion than a liar.

I took Ollie to watch Evie at swim class. He was so excited, like a proud papa, that he tapped a total stranger on the leg. When the man looked down at him, he pointed to Evie and said, “That one’s ours.”