Evie: “…the bread just tasted like bread.”
Me: “Well, that’s what bread usually tastes like. Bread.”
Evie: “Well it doesn’t taste like cranberries. Hey, that could be a phrase! ‘Bread doesn’t taste like cranberries!'”
<time passes>
Me, driving: “Shoot, I didn’t mean to go this way! Sometimes your body just goes the way it’s used to going.”
Evie: “Whelp, cranberries don’t taste like bread.”

This was far from the last time she tried to shoehorn that in somewhere. I do applaud her for really pushing it. She’s totally going to make that a thing.

Evie: “I don’t want to go to swim class!”
Ollie: “Tough chickens, you have to do it anyway.”

Evie: “…and if the boy saw anything that was really beautiful, he would think it was really ugly, and if he saw anything that was really ugly, he would think it was really beautiful.”
Me: “So if he saw me he would think I was the just the ugliest, ugliest thing he had ever seen in his life.”
Evie: “No! You’re not wearing a crown or anything.”
Me: “Hey, real beauty comes from the inside, not from some crown.”
Evie: “Yeah, that’s why if you’re bragging all the time you wouldn’t be beautiful.”

Lawyered by a six year old.

Sara: “There’s like three more days of toothpaste in that tube.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s what I said three weeks ago.”
Evie: “Oh! It’s like the miracle of hanukkah!”

Sara and I put up the Christmas tree and lights while the kids were sleeping so we’d be able to decorate the tree in the morning. When Ollie woke up, he was pretty excited to see it. Anyway, we went on about our business, and about 20 minutes later, Ollie asked very earnestly, “Can we see what Santa brought us now?”  Perhaps I overplayed it a little bit with the big presentation of the tree, but the poor guy misunderstood, thought Santa had come overnight, and was just patiently waiting for us to finish doing dishes so we could open presents.

Grandma Kathy: “Someday, Ollie, you’ll be bigger than I am. Someday you’ll be bigger than Grandpa Ron.”
Ollie: “Whoa…I’ll be a monster.”

Evie, reading: “And the grinch was…was…pissed.”

I don’t remember that particular line in the story, but it does kind of fit, so I’m sure she was right.

Evie: “…and I’ll sing the whole song once I’m ready for bed. Sounds good?”
Me: “Sounds…inevitable.”
Evie: “Sounds incredible?”
Sara: “Yeah, that’s what he said.”

Ollie: “I probably know where my teachers live.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Where?”
Ollie: “…”
Ollie: “I said probably.”

Ollie has a few “Ollie-isms” that I find quite amusing. These are not one-time mis-speakings, these are things he consistently says over the course of months: