::Watching a Santa-Tracker App on Christmas Eve::
Sara: “How do you think it knows where Santa is?”
Evie: “Because it’s a smart phone.”

Me: “We’ll take a selfie.”
Evie: “Yeah!”
Sara: “Do you know what a selfie is?”
Evie: “Yeah.”
Sara: “It’s hard to be 7 and not know what a selfie is.”
Ollie: “It’s when you take a picture!”
Sara: “It’s hard to be 4 and not know what a selfie is.”

Me: “I don’t remember the dad’s name, but the dogs are Jabberwocky, Primrose, and Bean.”

Look, if more people named their kids “Jabberwocky”, maybe I could remember people’s names too.

Ollie: “I couldn’t sleep because Evie kept asking me if I was awake.”
::Evie looks indignant::
Me: “Well, did you keep asking him if he was awake?”
Evie: “Not while he was asleep!”

Ollie, singing: “…Four calling birds, three French heads…”

Now THAT’S a Christmas carol…

Kid in Ollie’s class runs up to Sara: “We’re not made of chicken.”
Sara: “What?”
Kid: “Ollie said you said we were made from chickens. We’re not. We’re made of monkeys.”

Ollie: “Why is winter a long time, but other seasons are not?”

Unfortunately, winter has a loooong time to go yet. 😦

Evie: “What’s a garage for?”

You can tell she’s a city girl!

Me: “Okay, 4 letters, ending in ‘t’. A safe place to keep your babies and eggs.”
Evie: “A den?”
Me: “That’s a really good guess, you’re on the right track. But it doesn’t end in a ‘t’.”
Evie: “…”
Me: “Well, where do you keep your eggs?”
Evie: “The refrigerator!”

Me: “Look, Ollie, it’s the Christmas Frog! I made this ornament when I was only 3 years old.”
Ollie: “It looks like you didn’t really know what a frog looks like.”

Evie: “Did you toot?”
Me: “No!”
Evie: “Maybe that’s just what you smell like.”

Me: “…twenty two.”
Ollie: “TWENNY two.”
Me: “Twenty two.”
Ollie: “Everybody in my class says twenny two.”
Me: “The correct pronunciation is TWENTY two.”
Ollie: “How do YOU know?”

Ollie, very seriously to Sara: “I feel like…when you were a kid, you were a Bears fan.”

I assure you, there is no graver insult in this family…