Me: “Look, Ollie, it’s the Christmas Frog! I made this ornament when I was only 3 years old.”
Ollie: “It looks like you didn’t really know what a frog looks like.”

Evie: “Did you toot?”
Me: “No!”
Evie: “Maybe that’s just what you smell like.”

Me: “…twenty two.”
Ollie: “TWENNY two.”
Me: “Twenty two.”
Ollie: “Everybody in my class says twenny two.”
Me: “The correct pronunciation is TWENTY two.”
Ollie: “How do YOU know?”

Ollie, very seriously to Sara: “I feel like…when you were a kid, you were a Bears fan.”

I assure you, there is no graver insult in this family…