Me: “Even I wouldn’t do that, and I’m the meanest daddy in the world.”
Ollie: “No! No! You’re not the meanest daddy!”
Ollie: “…I mean, you’re not the nicest daddy either, maybe the 4th best daddy.”
::I leave the room to go write down this quote::
Ollie: “I want to make daddy feel nice, since he’s nice to me.”
Sara: “Yeah.”
Ollie: “He’s not really the 4th best, he’s actually a little farther down.”

Evelyn: “You’re awesome.”
Me: “Well, thank you.”
Evelyn: “Well, that’s just my opinion; critics may disagree.”

Me: “Sorry Evie, they don’t have it as an mp3 audiobook.”
Evie: “Wait, what’s a…cass-ette?”

Me: “They’re coming to take me away, he he, ho ho, ha ha, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time, and I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in those clean white suits…”
Sara: “I had never heard that song before I met you.”
Me: “My mom used to sing it.”
Sara: “That is definitely a song I associate with your mom.”

Don’t we all.

Sara: “Evelyn, will you take the laundry out of the dryer?”
::Evelyn goes away, comes back::
Evelyn: “Two questions.  Can I keep the lint?  And what is it made of?”

::The kids were gone for the weekend::
Sara: “For dinner these two nights I thought about grilled cheese, nachos, and pizza.”
Me: “I love you so much right now.”

Me: “…it was very embarrassing.”
Sara: “I didn’t realize you were embarrassable.”

It’s kind of my superpower.

Ollie: “If someone sees our car, they’re going to think we’re camping!”

‘Tis true: babies require a lot of stuff. Fitting said stuff into our tiny car can be a challenge.

::Driving by Medieval Times::
Me: “Hey, maybe there’s a show going on right now!”
Evelyn: “No, the show starts at 7.”
Me: “How do you know?”
Evelyn: “Well, when we went on Ollie’s birthday, there was also a show starting at 7.”

Sure, why shouldn’t she remember that after almost a year? I mean, that makes total sense.

Ollie: “What if you didn’t have a butt? You’d have a really hard life.”

Me: “Actually, there *are* rules in war. For example, you can’t use poisonous gas.”
Ollie: “What’s poisonous gas?”
Me: “Well, what does it sound like?”
Ollie: <fart noise>

Evelyn: “Okay! I’ve thought of a name for an invention, now I just need to think of the invention!”

They say it’s mostly marketing…