To my mother-in-law, on her birthday

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Today isn’t my mother-in-law’s birthday, but here’s the poem I wrote for her when it was:

Some birthdays are bigger than others, and this is one such year.
When these milestones arrive, you should enjoy them with extra cheer.

Forget the rules, eat what you want, take cake and eat a bunch.
Don’t listen to your idiot friends, try not to drink too much.

Embrace your birthday, live it up, and all the days between,
because it is your special day, now that you’re sixteen.

What’s that? What did you say? You’re sixty not sixteen?
Wow, you’re like…waaaay older than you seem.

You’d better sit down, this advice might be a little harder to hear,
and anyway, at your age, your legs might give out I fear.

DO I NEED TO SPEAK LOUDER? Is your hearing okay?
I want to make sure you can understand what I’m about to say.

That advice I gave was terrible, please listen to your friends.
They might not have that long to live before they meet their ends.

Maybe put some cake back, how much do you really need?
I think prunes and fiber are more your body’s speed.

I hope that this is good advice, I hope you find it useful.
When I say don’t drink too much, I’m talking Metamucil.

It’s not all bad news though, being elderly,
because of all the wisdom gained in your long history.

Us younger folk depend on your advice to get us through,
and value all the different things that we’ve been taught by you.

You help us live a better life by sharing hardships, joys, and fears
accumulated through your many, many, MANY years.

Half-Marathoner

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Over the weekend, Sara completed her first half marathon.

In the past six weeks, Sara completed three increasingly hard races, going from a 5k, to a 10 mile, and now to a half marathon. Even though a 10 mile is basically just as impressive, I think there is something especially psychologically satisfying about a half marathon.

One difference about this race, however, was that it was coooooold. It was about 26 degrees at the start of the race, and it felt like it, even with wool socks and long underwear. I saw a guy with literal icicles hanging off the bill of his hat, where the sweat had dripped down and frozen. At one point Ollie was staring at his gloves and said to me, “Why are my hands so cold??”

The good news is that we didn’t have to stand around in one place too long. The course was such that we were able to leapfrog Sara and meet her at about seven different locations (not counting the time I hollered “Let’s go Sara!” out the window as we drove by in the car). We would cheer for her as she passed, then hop in the car and drive to another location further along. This worked out perfectly, because it gave us something to do, and we were able to warm up in the car in between stops. And we ended up making it to more places than we planned on, so I think we were able to surprise her a few times.

Do you notice that she’s always smiling in every running picture? Like she’s out for a nice afternoon jog, rather than finishing 13.1 miles?

It ended up being a great day despite the cold, and everybody kept up their good mood (more or less). Sara finished in 2:36, and was only a little sore the next day.

I’m very proud of her. She started running as a hobby, but half marathons are serious business. I think Sara would be the first to tell you that she never would have imagined she’d be crossing the finish line in a big race. And certainly running a half marathon is something I could never do (or a quarter marathon, or even an eighth of a marathon).

So congratulations Sara! Your cheering section is ready for your next race!

Quote Monday gives thanks

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Sara: “Today is Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That today is Thanksgiving.”
Sara: “No, I mean like on a daily basis what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That I’m going to eat lots of pie today.”
Sara: “But more in general what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “Cake?”

::passing a homeless person::
Evie: “I used to pretend to be a poor person during relaxing time until you took my blanket upstairs.”

::Pulling up for Thanksgiving::
Ollie: “Are we going trick-or-treating here?”

This was after he had brought in a bunch of Christmas books in the morning, so I think he was a little confused about what exactly Thanksgiving was.

Evie: “The Thanksgiving parade is like the Memorial Day parade, except instead of candy, they could throw chicken!”

::Ollie bursting into tears::
Ollie: “Push me out, push me out! Somebody pushed my chair in!”
Sara: “I think you just ate too much, buddy.”

OMG you guys, my roommates are the WORST

/ Shane / Leave a comment

You would not even *believe* these people!

They make huge messes and never help to clean up, they eat my food (sometimes right off my plate!), they never chip in for anything, and you would not believe how disgusting they are when they eat. They get up really early and make lots of noise, and one time when I had a friend over, they ran through the house naked.

They just need to grow up. Seriously.

Happy Thanksgiving!

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Ah, once again we find ourselves on that most magical of holidays, Gluttony Day Thanksgiving!

Enjoy your giant meals, your football, and your poker playing (maybe that’s just my family?), and think back to a simpler time, before Native Americans regretted all the help they gave to those first Pilgrims.