Sara: “I’m going to write a grocery list.”
Alex: “Me help! Me help!”
Sara: “Okay…what should we put on our list?”
Alex: “Kwkwkwkw”
Sara: “Okay, chicken. What else?”
Alex: “Strawberries!”
Sara: “Okay. How about cheese?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “How about coffee?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “Anything else?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Fruit flies.”

I was trying to get Alex to eat breakfast, because I knew when he saw that Ollie was eating scones, he wouldn’t want to eat anything else. Eventually Ollie got his scones and came over. Alex pointed at the scones and said, “Eat!” I pretended like I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Eat what?” Alex pointed at the scones AND HONEST TO GOD WINKED AT ME.

Alex: “Mrpghr”
Sara: “What?”
Alex: Mrpghr”
Sara: “How many pieces of meat are in your mouth?”
Alex, enunciating carefully: “Too. Much.”

Alex, pointing at pizza furiously: “That! That!”
Me: “What is that called?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Yum!”

Sara: “Alex, what would you like to have for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, not pizza, what else?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, something else.”
Alex: “Cake.”
Sara: “No, not cake.”
Alex: “YES CAKE!”

Me: “Hold on, let me cut [your pizza] up.”
Alex: “No! Big!”
Me: “It’s too big. It will still be big after I cut it.”
Alex, getting upset: “Noooo! No cut it!”
Me: “Alex…do you want TWO pieces of pizza?”
Alex: “…Yes! Yes! Cut it!”

Sometimes it’s all about the presentation.

Me, to Sara: “Do you want me to make something for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta’s not for breakfast.”
Alex: “Bacon!”
::Me walking away to write down this post::
Alex, calling after me: “Potatoes!”

Me: “Well, let’s see what IKEA coffee tastes like.”
Sara: “Desperation.”

Ollie: “How much does a Knight Fighter make?”
Me: “How much does who make?”
Ollie: “In the game of Life. There is a shortcut if you’re a Knight Fighter.”
Me: “It sounds like you’re saying ‘Knight Fighter’.”
Ollie: “I am! There is a special path, and you can go to Knight school…”

Sara: “Aw, Alex, did you lose your marbles?”
Sara: “No, apparently he lost his ‘narbles’.”

Evelyn: “In my purse I have my wallet, a band aide, lip balm, cuticle cream, and a fake phone.”
::Evelyn taking out an old flip phone::
Evelyn: “Hello!”

Evelyn acts so grown up all the time, it is always hilarious when she does something to remind you that she’s still a little girl. Sara always says, “If I’m not sure my daughter is still a little girl, I watch her eat a piece of chocolate cake…”

Lady 1: ::sigh:: “I need to take down my Christmas tree.”
Lady 2: “You haven’t taken your Christmas tree down yet? It’s St. Patrick’s day!”
Lady 1: “Well, it’s green, isn’t it?”
Me: ::laughing::
Lady 1, to me: “Well, it’s green isn’t it?”
Me: “I cannot deny that it is green.”

Oliver: “I’m going to the moon, and I’m bringing the bad word that starts with ‘F’…”

::Alex trying unsuccessfully to scoop sweet potato chunks onto a fork::
Me: “No, poke it. Alex, you’ve got to poke it. Poke it.”
::Alex looking at me, then slowly extending a finger towards his nose like, “if you say so…”::

Alex, pointing to trash blowing through the sky: “Bird! Bird!”

Oh you sweet city baby.

Evelyn: “I’m going to be a good mom. I’m going to play with my kids and take them out on adventures…”
Ollie, getting excited: “Yeah! Like take them up and jump over the train tracks!”
Evelyn: “…not those kind of adventures.”

Oliver: “I can’t go upstairs! Something’s moving up there!”
Me: “Really? Like what?”
Oliver: “I saw…Yoda.”