The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, stomach flu

Since I originally posted about the stomach flu thirteen days ago, you’d kind of think we would be over the topic, right?

As I previously mentioned, Evelyn was the next to go (well technically Oliver was, but he never actually threw up, so that one doesn’t count). That left me as the last man standing. You would think, knowing that, that I wouldn’t have been taken by surprise when I got sick, but I spent a significant portion of Wednesday afternoon rubbing my chest and going, “Man, that bagel is just not sitting well.” By the time I got to the train, I was only thinking about getting home ASAP, and by the time I got through the 30 min train delay, I was really sweating it.

After going through it myself, I only have more sympathy for the rest of the family, because it was utterly brutal. It really only lasted 24 hours or so (plus another day to recover from the dehydration), but here I am almost a week later and still not *quite* back to normal. I did lose almost 6 pounds in 24 hours, but as a weight loss plan, I can’t recommend it.

The bad news is that Alex was both the first, and last, person to have it, going on almost two weeks now. He hasn’t thrown up since Saturday, but we’re still being careful. He has gone for a few stretches before, only to unexpectedly go through another bout again after a few days. He has seemed a bit more like himself since yesterday, so maybe we’re out of the woods.

That poor, poor baby.

Hero Update

As expected, Evelyn’s “Hero Reward” showed up last night with a vengeance. Even counting the 3 times Alex threw up on Sunday night, Evelyn’s total last night alone has far surpassed everyone else combined.

However, after about the 5th time she threw up, she just started cleaning it up herself.

Hero status: maintained.

Free Fiction by me – The Wizard of 63rd Street on Podcastle

I am very pleased to announce my story, “The Wizard of 63rd Street” is now available on the audio-fiction magazine, Podcastle.

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This story is intensely personal to me, and I poured a lot more of myself into this one than I usually do. This is the story I was writing so hard that I missed my train stop (at 63rd of course) and went all the way to 115th.

From the show notes:

This story is set in my neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago, where gang signs and gun violence are a part of life. The people and streets in this story are, unfortunately, very vivid to me. I wish there were real life wizards who could paint a mural and make the problems go away. Barring that, I wish there were easy solutions that could unravel the thorny knot of generations of systematic discrimination and poverty, education and politics.

In the end, though, I went with an optimistic ending, even though it’s hard sometimes to feel optimistic. I don’t have wizard powers like Russell, but if my writing has any power at all to influence the universe, I would like to use it for the people trapped in tough circumstances who don’t have the privilege to escape like I do.

Quote Monday loses its marbles

Me: “Well, let’s see what IKEA coffee tastes like.”
Sara: “Desperation.”

Ollie: “How much does a Knight Fighter make?”
Me: “How much does who make?”
Ollie: “In the game of Life. There is a shortcut if you’re a Knight Fighter.”
Me: “It sounds like you’re saying ‘Knight Fighter’.”
Ollie: “I am! There is a special path, and you can go to Knight school…”

Sara: “Aw, Alex, did you lose your marbles?”
Sara: “No, apparently he lost his ‘narbles’.”

Evelyn: “In my purse I have my wallet, a band aide, lip balm, cuticle cream, and a fake phone.”
::Evelyn taking out an old flip phone::
Evelyn: “Hello!”

Evelyn acts so grown up all the time, it is always hilarious when she does something to remind you that she’s still a little girl. Sara always says, “If I’m not sure my daughter is still a little girl, I watch her eat a piece of chocolate cake…”

Sheet Pan Hash Browns and Oven Baked Bacon

The first Friday of the month is reserved for recipes. You can see additional First Friday Food posts here.

The Reason:

Obviously this is a pancake sort of blog, but *eeeevery once in awhile* I might eat something else for breakfast (shocking, I know). And when I do, there are no better accoutrements than hashbrowns and bacon.

(This is, however, a bacon sort of blog. No exceptions)

(Except maybe sometimes sausage)

The Journey:

Regular hashbrowns are pretty amazing. I mean, I wouldn’t have thought you could improve on hashbrowns. But you CAN and now you MUST.

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Usually I make hash browns in a pan, but then I get entirely too impatient to eat them, so I don’t let them fry long enough to actually get crispy. Instead they end up as kind of warm, mush potatoes, that are still delicious. Intellectually I understand that they would be better if I could wait for a few more minutes, but…

However, imagine you could make ENTIRELY CRISPY hash browns, with no effort?!? And since they’re in the oven you don’t even have to sit there and look at them, waiting for them to crisp up but growing increasingly more impatient.

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As for the bacon, I have cooked a slice or two in my day. Usually the grease is flying everywhere, burning your hands like liquid magma as you try (unsuccessfully) to flip the piece over with a fork. Then it starts curling up, so you try to hold it down, but it doesn’t work so you end up with one side that’s crispy and the other side that’s just like raw fat.

No more. This is going to change your life my friend.

It is so unbelievably simple, you end up with perfectly cooked, flat pieces, and you don’t even have to stand there and shepherd it the whole time. Set it and forget it. The strips are actually less greasy too, since most of it stays in the pan. AND! AND! It’s easier to clean up: just wait until the grease congeals a little bit, crumple the parchment paper, and throw it away.

Sometimes you really can have your cake and eat it too. And the best part is that you can cook it in the oven AT THE SAME TIME as the hash browns!

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The Verdict:

The one slight knock I would say is that I am a crispy bacon kind of guy, and you can’t *quite* get the bacon to that perfect level of crispiness. However Sara, who claims I always overcook the bacon, is quite satisfied (and honestly this is probably somewhere in the middle between us as far as our preferred texture).

Still, that is a very minor complaint, especially when weighed against the obvious advantages.

I have no knocks against the hash browns whatsoever.

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And naturally, it is Alex approved, so what more could you ask for?

2017_04_24_3060The Recipe:

Recipe from Macheesmo.

  • 1 bag of frozen hash browns (1 lb 4 oz)
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
  1. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. In a microwave safe bowl, combine butter, oil, and spices. Microwave on high for 30 seconds to melt butter.
  3. Stir spice mixture into potatoes.
  4. Stir in grated Parmesan cheese.
  5. Spread potatoes out on sheet pan in a single, even layer. Some overlap is inevitable, but try to make it as even as possible.
  6. Place sheet in a preheated oven on the bottom rack for 15-20 minutes. When edges of hash browns are browning nicely, move sheet pan to the very top rack. Bake for another 10-15 minutes so top can crisp up. Don’t stir the potatoes!

Recipe (is this really a recipe?) from The Pioneer Woman.

  • Bacon
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  2. Cook for 15 – 22 minutes (depending on thickness of bacon)