Author: Shane

Quote Monday is looking for a fight

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Me: “Get some sleep, so your body can fight off those invaders.”
Evie: “Is Darth Vader one of them?”
Me: “No, I don’t think so.”
Evie: “Well, he is a vader.”

Sara: “What did you do at school today?”
Ollie: “Why do you always ask me what I do at school?”
Sara: “Because I love you.”
Ollie: “Well, I love you more than you love me, but I don’t ask you what you do at work.”

Me: “I don’t think you’d want to fight a lion. One time a lion roared at me and I turned into a little puddle of jelly.”
Ollie, rapt: “How did you get back to normal? Did you go through a machine that fixed you up?”

Evie, in regards to a class election: “Her thing to get elected was that she would make the world a better place, but I didn’t vote for her because I think the world is already a pretty good place.”

Writing, Year 5

/ Shane / 2 Comments

My writing anniversary is March 1st. Every year on March 1st, I write a post about how the previous year went in terms of writing.

This year:

Stories Written: 8
Number of [Submission-Ready] Words: 18,600
Number of Story Submissions: 93
Number of Rejections: 79
Number of Acceptances: 3
Postage Costs: $4.24
Revenue: $127.82

Total:

Stories Written: 26
Number of [Submission-Ready] Words: 104,600
Number of Story Submissions: 268
Number of Rejections: 252
Number of Acceptances: 5
Postage Costs: $120.83
Revenue: $272.70

First off, let me say that it’s a pain in the rear to calculate all of these things in March instead of January. All the tracking tools are set up for calendar year. I do kind of like the tradition of my “writing anniversary”, but I don’t know if the hassle is worth it. On the other hand, everybody does “year end review” posts about their writing in December or January, but *nobody* does them in March. Market, cornered.

Same caveats as usual. I actually have 2 stories finished, but not quite yet ready to submit, so I’ll take credit for those next year.

First and foremost, I helped adapt a story for the Pulp Stage. That’s not registered under the “acceptances” above, but it’s pretty dang cool and I’m extra proud of that. More acceptances this year than last year too, even though it totalled less money. Lets hope that trend continues to grow.

Got an Amazon author page this year too, which was awesome, and a Goodreads author account. I feel like a real author more and more every day (it’s all about the external validation I tell ya!)

Lots more stories and words than last year, which feels good. I’m excited about almost hitting 100 subs this year! I had no idea it was that high. Obviously more inventory makes more subs easier, so hopefully I will cross the 100 barrier this year. It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating my 100th rejection, and now I’m almost to the point of getting 100 per year.

I will say that in some ways, after a few acceptances, rejections can be harder to swallow. I’m getting acceptances at a rate that, two years ago, I would have killed for (as in, any at all). But now, especially when I get a lot closer, I sometimes feel the sting more keenly. First world problems I guess.

I’ve also (Internet) met so many amazing authors this year. (Especially on twitter. My goodness are you people prolific tweeters! I can do almost nothing except monitor my twitter stream. I’m almost to the point where I’m overwhelmed again.) Many people I aspire to write like, to be like. It seems like any issue of any magazine, any anthology, any random shelf of books has people whom I (Internet) know. That’s kind of crazy. There’s really something to be said for commiserating with people who are in the same boat as you. For so long I did this in solitude, it’s really been a wonderful, eye-opening experience to discover I have this shared experience with other people. I feel like I’ve soaked up so much knowledge just by being around other writers.

I would say that in general I feel like my writing improves quite a bit all the time. Even though I’m still not selling a high percentage of stories (one day I’ll crack a 2% acceptance ratio, mark my words!), I feel like, on the whole, they’re just exponentially better. On the other hand, I was on the verge of trunking a few stories that I went back and re-read, and I still like them quite a bit. So, trunked they were not (others, not so much).

It’s kind of like learning to play guitar. In the beginning, you’re worried about strum and finger positioning and whatnot. It takes all of your concentration to do those things. However, eventually you get to the point where you don’t have to think about those things at all. At that point, you can start to concentrate on other things, maybe trying a more challenging chord or playing a little something extra in between notes. You can’t tackle everything at once; you have to master one skill before you can even think about trying the next one. The good news, however, is that you eventually master things to the point where you feel foolish for ever having struggled with them.

Early on, I had a real problem with endings. I think that I’ve got that down now. I think my beginnings have improved quite a bit, though of course this is something that I think you can always continue to work on. I’ve got planning and outlining down, I think I’m pretty good at pacing and plot, and I think I’ve improved a lot at titles. I can usually pretty reliably guess at the length of an idea, which is something that I really thought was an amazing, if not impossible, skill when I was just starting out.

I think the main thing to focus on in the next year is emotion and characters. This is something I’ve really been thinking a lot about lately. I think I also go very light on description, which might be a weakness, or might just be part of my style, I’m not sure yet. Still, I think I can improve on that as well.

I really do feel a lot more optimism than usual right now about my writing. Perhaps the acceptances have just boosted my confidence more, but I feel optimistic about my chances much more often. Each story I write seems so much better. I really feel like I’m going to have a breakthrough soon as far as getting certain dream markets.

Here’s to hoping!

Kaiju and Cruise Ships

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Last night I had a dream that I was camping with my family. Everything was going fine until giant kaiju rained down from outer space. I immediately knew three things: 1) it was the end of the word, 2) I could not safely travel anywhere, and 3) my tent was probably not going to be adequate protection.

(Full disclosure, about 85% of my dreams involve apocalypse-type scenarios.)

We were all running around trying to make the campground as secure as possible, knowing that it was hopeless but not having any alternative, when suddenly something giant crashed through our outer fence. Rampaging monster? No, here was my Uncle David in a ridiculous captain’s outfit and mirrored shades. Gold fringe on the shoulders and everything.

It turns out that my Uncle David had been preparing for just such a situation and had bought and retrofitted an old cruise ship. It was a combination of armor plated hull and state of the art interior that had also been modified to drive on land. I’m not sure how it was fueled, but since it had been designed to hold so many people, it was well stocked with food and amenities to last all of our lifetimes, and then some. It was virtually indestructable.

Luxurious battlecruiser thus prepared, he was driving around the country picking up Halbachs. Next on the list was my dad, and we set off.

Now that I’m awake and I can look at the whole thing logically, I think I can say with certainty that there is a 30% chance that this is actually how the world ends. It is not outside the realm of possibility that my Uncle Dave (or any number of other Halbachs, I’m looking at you Uncle Jim) is retrofitting a battle cruise ship as we speak. It would also not be totally unexpected if they suddenly showed up in it (wearing a captain’s outfit).

Brain, I Will Defeat You!

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I stayed up too late last night baking bread. Yes, baking bread (also known as being an *extreme party animal*). When I finally crawled into bed at the extremely late hour of 10:30, my sleepy brain whispered to me, “Tomorrow is Friday, you don’t have to get up until 6:30.”

“Seems reasonable,” I mumbled back, setting the alarm. “6:30, yeah. Fridays are different, so I can sleep in. Zzzzzzzzzz.”

At 6:28 this morning I woke with a shock and said, “CURSE YOU TIRED BRAIN! You’ve outwitted me again!”

He may have won this time, but this I vow: from this moment forward, I will devote myself to defeating this brain of mine. He thinks he’s so smart! Let’s see how he fares against an onslaught of Buzzfeed lists, games of Flappy Bird, and Miley Cyrus videos.

I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH!

“I don’t remember”

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It is nearly impossible to get any sort of answer out of Oliver, and it always has been. He really just doesn’t like to stick himself out there, or answer something that might be incorrect. If you ask him any sort of question at all, he reflexively answers “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember”. I think maybe this began as a way to buy himself time to find an answer, but he’s answered this way so often for so long, that he now responds before he actually thinks about the answer to the question. If you asked him his name he would immediately answer, “I don’t remember.”

The only way to get him to answer is to respond, “I know, but what is your guess?” Often, when you ask him to guess, he does have the correct answer when he thinks about it for a second.

I don’t really know what to do about this. It can be extremely frustrating when, question after question, he refuses to make any sort of attempt at an answer. I know that it’s not because he doesn’t know the answer.

In fact, he does not want to do anything to stick out in any way. I noticed that in ballet he never answers any questions when the teacher asks, despite the fact that I know that he knows the answer, and he never volunteers to demonstrate or even to go first in line. I asked him why this was and he just got embarrassed and said, “I just want to do what everyone else is doing.”

It’s a part of his personality, but I do think this has something to do with his sister. He just looks up to her so much, but I notice that whenever he’s in an uncertain situation, he always looks at her to see what she’s doing. She’s his safety blanket, and he gets nervous when she’s not around to set the example. That’s kind of sweet in a way, but my hope is that he blossoms a little bit when he’s in situations without her, such as at school.

I do wish he would just slow down a little bit and think about his answer, instead of reflexively answering “I don’t know”. It’s certainly not a lack of intelligence!