<Kids (wrongly) saying tortillas are better cold>
Me: “Zoey, do you want your tortillas toasted, or are you abnormal?”
Zoey: “Both?”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Alex: “Because Ollie thought we would get in big trouble!”

Seems so obvious, in retrospect.

Me at 12:58: “Oh!  My meeting is at 1, and I just took my shirt off!”

Me: “You look cute.”
Sara: <Looks down at her tye dye shirt, eyebrow raised>
Shane: It’s not your outfit. It must be that you went out in the real world.”