Quote Monday lives fast and dies young

Ollie: “I know 7 bad words.”
Alex: “Oh I know WAY more than that!”

Alex: “I’m kinda if sad I gave you that check. I wanted to put it in the bank.”
Sara: “Oh, for college money?”
Alex: “No, that’s silly! To buy one of those things….hmmm… For when I’m a grown up? Um, what’s it called…it’s black….a coffin!”

::Alex doing a double take::
Alex: “Oh, for a second you looked like The Lord.”

Eventually we figured out “The Lord” meant “The Emperor” from Star Wars, which was perhaps less surprising (we did just watch Return of the Jedi), but…seriously dude? I’m only 41!

Quote Monday has good posture

Evelyn: “I guess I have good posture because I’m always sticking my nose up in the air.”

::Me, doing push ups::
Evelyn: “Now, I’ve never actually heard someone giving birth, but…”

Sara: “I don’t like to do push ups around you, I like to do them in private.”
Evelyn: “Because we all toot?”

Alex: “Now I need to find my famous pants, that I wore three days in a row!”
As an aside: “That’s why they’re famous.”

Quote Monday is back from vacation

::7:30 am::
Sara: “Tell your brother to get dressed and be down in 10 minutes.”
Alex, going up the stairs: “Be down by 10!”
Sara: “Maybe he was not the best choice of messenger.”

Alex: “The sky is blue. Like *actually* blue. Usually the sky is colored pencil blue but this is crayon blue.”

Ollie: “No matter where you are in the world, it’s better to pee more than to pee less.”

Evelyn: “Divergent is the 4th best thing in the world, after Hunger Games, D&D, and chocolate.”

It is a pretty select list, if there are 2 things ahead of “chocolate”…

Sara: “Ollie, I need a drinking buddy.”

Oliver: “Do you know what supervision means?”
Alex: “It’s like when you blast people with your eyes!”

Quote Monday is a teenager

Evelyn, 4 days before her birthday: “Only 4 days left of being a kid!”

Nice try, but 13 is still a kid.

Me: “Let me see the picture.”
Me: “Kissy lips? KISSY LIPS??”
Evelyn, exasperated: “That’s how you take a selfie!”

Alex: “Are dragons real?”
Sara: “What do you think?”
Alex: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Well, I think people saw dinosaur bones and imagined dragons.”
Alex: “Well I’m thinking of REAL dragons, not maaaagical dragons!”

Alex: “What did that sign say?”
Sara: “Deaf.”
Alex: “What does deaf mean?”
Sara: “Can’t hear.”
Alex: “What does deaf mean!?”
Sara: “Can’t hear.”
Alex: “What does deaf mean?!!!!!”
Sara: “Can’t hear.
Alex: “WHAT DOES DEAF MEAN?!?!”
Sara: “Evie, can you tell him what it means?”
Evelyn: “It means you can’t hear.”
Alex: “OHHHHH!”

Quote Monday is living the quarantine life

<Kids (wrongly) saying tortillas are better cold>
Me: “Zoey, do you want your tortillas toasted, or are you abnormal?”
Zoey: “Both?”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Alex: “Because Ollie thought we would get in big trouble!”

Seems so obvious, in retrospect.

Me at 12:58: “Oh!  My meeting is at 1, and I just took my shirt off!”

Me: “You look cute.”
Sara: <Looks down at her tye dye shirt, eyebrow raised>
Shane: It’s not your outfit. It must be that you went out in the real world.”