Quote Monday is quite convincing

Sara: “Ollie said, ‘Tell Dad I love you 5000 times’ or something.”
Me: “Is it possible he said, ‘3000’?”
Sara: “Oh yeah, 3000.”
Me: “Did he… Did he possibly say, ‘I love you 3000’?”
Sara: “Yeah, maybe. Why?”
Me: 😍

Evelyn: “I’m sure next year we’ll go to <thing>. It’s up to your advisory teacher, but I’m sure our class will go…I know how to convince people to do things.”

I already feel sorry for her future teacher. You should ask her 4th grade teacher about the time she wanted to do pajama day…

Sara, pointing to a mosquito bite on her face: “Did you see that bug bite right there?”
Alex: “Maybe that’s just your fat cheek!”
Alex: “I never saw your face get so red before!”

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Quote Monday learns the world is a scary place

Alex: “Why was that lady wearing funny skin?”
Sara: “She was old.”

::Showing Alex octopus tentacles for eating::
Alex, in horror: “I didn’t know octopuses were real!!”

Later, under his breath to Oliver: “Are scary pirates also real??”

Me: “…that’s how coolness works. The coolest person is the one that–”
Ollie: “Does what everybody else does?”

Quote Monday goes way back

Evelyn: “When you and mama got married, did they not have color pictures? Is that why the pictures from your wedding are black and white?”

::Ollie playing with an old play record player::
Ollie: “My mom had that when she was little because they didn’t have electricity back then.”

Alex: “Can you read the poem that I wrote?”
Me: “You can’t really write words until you know how to read.”
Alex: “No, but you can read words, so you can read it.”

Me, playing pretend with Alex: “There’s water over here. Be careful, there are sharks! And alligators!”
Alex: “And penguins!!”

Quote Monday is living its best life

Me: “Next week you won’t see me because I’ll be in California all week.”
Alex, pumping his fist: “Yeah! I’ll be having my best life!!”

Alex: “You know you have two eyes and under that a nose and then a mouth? Does that look like a fire hydrant?”
Sara: “…Maybe?”
Alex: “Your face looks like a fire hydrant.”

Ollie: “Cowboys are always very helpful.”
Alex: “Maybe not this cowboy.”
Alex: “People LOVE this cowboy, even though he doesn’t help.”

Sara: “What happened to his eye?”


Alex: “His mother punished him for killing someone.”

Quote Monday Contains Avengers Spoilers!

You have been warned!

Ollie, whispering: “I don’t want to get Alex in trouble, but he’s under the table eating my cookie.”

Alex: “I like books about fighting…and car crashes!…and fires! …and I don’t have ANY books about car crashes or fires!”

Alex: “Can we do jokes? Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Alex: “I eat mop.”
Me: “I don’t want to do that one anymore.”
Alex: “Okay, I’ll do it with myself. Knock knock, who’s there, I eat mop, I eat mop who? Ha ha ha!”

Me: “When iron Man died, I cried.”
Sara: “I’m sure it was really sad in the movie, but when you say it out loud I have to laugh.”

Quote Monday talks too much

Sara: “Do you smell coffee?”
Alex: “I smell…toots and chocolate, mixed together.”

That is…kind of not the worst description of the smell of coffee I’ve ever heard.

Alex: “I hate it.”
Grandma S: “You hate it?”
Alex: “That’s how you say you don’t like something.”

Sara: “Tell him 8:15. Can you remember that?”
Alex: “I can keep it in my head!”
Alex: “…As long as I don’t talk too much.”
Sara: “What time is it again?”
Alex, sadly: “…I forgot.”

Evelyn: “What are all the names of the spices?”
::Sara and I looking at each other like all the spices in the world, or…?::
Evelyn: “Like Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice…”

Quote Monday speaks Chicago

Alex: “I’m still Captain hook, but don’t call me that because I’m embarrassed.”

Alex: “His name is Tarley.”
Me: “Charley?”
Alex: “Yeah but I say “Tarley” because I can’t speak that language.”

Alex: “There’s one [instruction] book for each language. There’s Spanish, England, and Chicago!”