Quote Monday eats too much

Sara: “I’m going to write a grocery list.”
Alex: “Me help! Me help!”
Sara: “Okay…what should we put on our list?”
Alex: “Kwkwkwkw
Sara: “Okay, chicken. What else?”
Alex: “Strawberries!”
Sara: “Okay. How about cheese?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “How about coffee?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “Anything else?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Fruit flies.”

I was trying to get Alex to eat breakfast, because I knew when he saw that Ollie was eating scones, he wouldn’t want to eat anything else. Eventually Ollie got his scones and came over.¬†Alex pointed at the scones and said, “Eat!” I pretended like I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Eat what?” Alex pointed at the scones AND HONEST TO GOD WINKED AT ME.

Alex: “Mrpghr”
Sara: “What?”
Alex: Mrpghr”
Sara: “How many pieces of meat are in your mouth?”
Alex, enunciating carefully: “Too. Much.”

Quote Monday has a healthy appetite

Alex, pointing at pizza furiously: “That! That!”
Me: “What is that called?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Yum!”

Sara: “Alex, what would you like to have for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, not pizza, what else?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, something else.”
Alex: “Cake.”
Sara: “No, not cake.”
Alex: “YES CAKE!”

Me: “Hold on, let me cut [your pizza] up.”
Alex: “No! Big!”
Me: “It’s too big. It will still be big after I cut it.”
Alex, getting upset: “Noooo! No cut it!”
Me: “Alex…do you want TWO pieces of pizza?”
Alex: “…Yes! Yes! Cut it!”

Sometimes it’s all about the presentation.

Me, to Sara: “Do you want me to make something for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta’s not for breakfast.”
Alex: “Bacon!”
::Me walking away to write down this post::
Alex, calling after me: “Potatoes!”

Quote Monday loses its marbles

Me: “Well, let’s see what IKEA coffee tastes like.”
Sara: “Desperation.”

Ollie: “How much does a Knight Fighter make?”
Me: “How much does who make?”
Ollie: “In the game of Life. There is a shortcut if you’re a Knight Fighter.”
Me: “It sounds like you’re saying ‘Knight Fighter’.”
Ollie: “I am! There is a special path, and you can go to Knight school…”

Sara: “Aw, Alex, did you lose your marbles?”
Sara: “No, apparently he lost his ‘narbles’.”

Evelyn: “In my purse I have my wallet, a band aide, lip balm, cuticle cream, and a fake phone.”
::Evelyn taking out an old flip phone::
Evelyn: “Hello!”

Evelyn acts so grown up all the time, it is always hilarious when she does something to remind you that she’s still a little girl. Sara always says, “If I’m not sure my daughter is still a little girl, I watch her eat a piece of chocolate cake…”

Quote Monday is bad

Lady 1: ::sigh:: “I need to take down my Christmas tree.”
Lady 2: “You haven’t taken your Christmas tree down yet? It’s St. Patrick’s day!”
Lady 1: “Well, it’s green, isn’t it?”
Me: ::laughing::
Lady 1, to me: “Well, it’s green isn’t it?”
Me: “I cannot deny that it is green.”

Oliver: “I’m going to the moon, and I’m bringing the bad word that starts with ‘F’…”

::Alex trying unsuccessfully to scoop sweet potato chunks onto a fork::
Me: “No, poke it. Alex, you’ve got to poke it. Poke it.”
::Alex looking at me, then slowly extending a finger towards his nose like, “if you say so…”::

Quote Monday is for the birds

Alex, pointing to trash blowing through the sky: “Bird! Bird!”

Oh you sweet city baby.

Evelyn: “I’m going to be a good mom. I’m going to play with my kids and take them out on adventures…”
Ollie, getting excited: “Yeah! Like take them up and jump over the train tracks!”
Evelyn: “…not those kind of adventures.”

Oliver: “I can’t go upstairs! Something’s moving up there!”
Me: “Really? Like what?”
Oliver: “I saw…Yoda.”

Quote Monday got glasses

Evelyn: “The trees look like the way people draw them!”
Me, laughing: “Did you wonder why people drew them that way? With all the sticks?”
Evelyn: “Well, no…they drew them the way they look in photos.”
Me, laughing harder: “So did you think, like, the camera did something to make them look like that?”
Evelyn, shrugging helplessly: “Well…?”

Evelyn: “They made pancakes for breakfast. I only ate a ‘weekday morning’ amount of pancakes.”
Me: “Probably a good idea. They probably weren’t prepared for a ‘Sunday morning’ amount of pancakes.”

Quote Monday is argumentative

Me: “Do you think there will ever come a time when I will be able to sit down and drink an entire cup of coffee?”
Sara: “…”
Sara: “Wait, I’m still calculating. 2034.”

Me: “I’m just trying to be argumentative like my daughter, and automatically take the opposite viewpoint of anything you say.”
Evelyn: “I don’t necessarily do that…”

Sara: “Evelyn, we should have [your friend] over for dinner sometime.”
Ollie: “And can [her friend]’s dad come to? He just seems like a fun guy.”