Quote Monday goes fliparoonies

Alex: “The last donut made the ouchies feel better.”


Alex: “Today we’re going to go to the museum.”
Me: “Oh yeah? You have to talk to Vania about that. She might say, ‘We already went to the museum this week, I want to go somewhere different.'”
Alex: “Yeah, she might say, ‘I’m tired of museums, today I want to go FLIPAROONIES!”

Alex: “[Ollie]’s up from the table. I assume he’s not going to have dessert?”

You know, at least if he’s repeating you it means SOMEBODY has heard you!

::guy aggressively tailgating me::
Me: “This guy is literally in my trunk.”
::The blood drains from Ollie’s face as he slowly turns to look behind him::

Okay, that one is on me, although I’d like to think I would have been a little less calm if there was *literally* a guy in the back of the car!


Quote Monday is from a different generation

Sara: “What’s your homework?”
Evelyn: “I need to practice clarinet and reed. Get it? Reed?”
Sara: “Wakka wakka.”
Evelyn: “Is that the ‘ba dum ching’ of your generation?”

Evelyn: “Does this look like a sheep?”
Me: “…yes.”
Evelyn: “No it doesn’t, but thank you for being a good daddy.”

Alex: “It was *literally* on the edge of the balcony!”

At least he didn’t mean figuratively…he really was literally on the edge of the balcony.

::Alex, giving me a big hug::
Alex: “I love you.”
Alex: “But I also hate you.”

Quote Monday glows in the dark

Alex: “I spy with my little eye something helmety.”
Sara: “Is it that helmet?”
Alex: “Yes!”

Alex: “I saw the truck with the body parts!”
Sara: “The ‘body parts’ are called antlers.”

Ollie: “For supper, can we have BFGs or whatever they’re called?”
Sara: “BLTs??”

Maybe he was hoping for a bacon, fig, and Gruyere?

::Dark, quiet hotel room::
::Tremendous sneeze::
Ollie: “My snot glows in the dark!”

Quote Monday is back from vacation

::Driving around some hairpin turns::
Evelyn: “Well, my sweatshirt’s brown now. We came around a corner, and I had a gasp, and…. I spilled some hot chocolate.”

She wasn’t the only one turning her sweatshirt brown during some of those mountain drives….

::Outside of Wall Drug::
Alex, excited: “Is this Walmart??”

Me: “We have seen buffalo coming out of our wangs!”
Sara: “Why would you say that?!”
Me: “What are you supposed to say again…oh, oh, wazoos!”

Sara, to the kids: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Me: “Not as beautiful as the Bee Movie starring Jerry Seinfeld, apparently.”

Quote Monday leaves the big city

::Visiting Muncie, Indiana::
Ollie: “You don’t even have to look both ways before crossing the street!”
Me: “You always have to look before crossing the street.”
::Car passes::
Ollie: “No, see! You can *hear them coming*!”

Evelyn: “This is the kind of street you only read about in books. Where your best friend lives next door.”

Alex: “A pencil!”
Sara: “Just leave it.”
Alex: “But I need it!”
Sara: “But you have many at home.”
Alex: “But I need many and one.”

::On the eve of Evelyn’s birthday::
Evelyn: “Just think 2 years from now I’m going to be saying, ‘this is my last day as a kid’.”

Uh huh.

Alex: “I’m going to weigh myself.”
Me: “What does [the scale] say?”
Alex: “It says big boy!”

Quote Monday obliterates the summer reading program

::Evelyn turning in her Summer Reading Program sheet after the first week::
Girl: “And you read all of these?”
Evelyn: “And these six here. I ran out of room.”
Girl, under her breath: “Jesus Christ.”

Ollie: “We’re soldiers. Play us a marching song.”
Alex: “Jingle bells jingle bells…”

Alex: “We’re going to have pancakes for breakfast!”
Sara: “Oh yeah? Did Daddy tell you that?”
Alex: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh… I tell’d him that.”

Alex: “My pizza cutters are missing!”
Me: “Oh no we need a detective!”
Alex: “No, we need those pizza cutters.”
To be fair, it is hard to cut pizza with a detective…

Quote Monday has plans for tomorrow

Alex: “Remember when we came here yesterday and I ate a chocolate chip cookie?”
Evelyn: “I remember that, but it wasn’t yesterday.”
Alex: “Tomorrow?

Sara: “Are you doing lots of fun stuff?”
Oliver, enthusiastic: “Yeah! They have this thing called ‘Judge Judy’…”

Sara: “I love you sooo much.”
Alex: “I don’t. I’m angry right now.”

Me: “Would you like it in a bun?”
Alex: “Would you, could you in the dark? Would you, could you in the rain?”