Quote Monday saves daddy from over consumption

Alex: “Dada, go downstairs.”
Me: “No, just wait. I’m busy.”
Alex: “Dada, go downstairs!”
Me: “No.”
Alex: “Dada…coffee’s ready!”
Me, laughing: “No it is not you liar, but it was a good attempt.”

Me: “I can’t believe you [went out for doughnuts and] forgot about your poor, old daddy.”
Sara: “We did think about you. They weren’t that good, and we saved you from 500 calories.”
Me: “Wow. Thank you so much for falling on that grenade for me.”

Alex: “I want MINE wine! I want mine bottle!”


Quote Monday wants his big coffee

::Evelyn going upstairs without Alex::
Alex, very angry: “Eva come back here little boy!!”

Evelyn: “Yankee doodle went to…”
Alex: “Town!”
Evelyn: “Riding on a…”
Alex: “Pony!”
Evelyn: “Stuck a feather in his…”
Alex: “Hat!”
Evelyn: “…and called it…”
Alex: “Pepperoni!”

Alex: “Evie, go pee pee at Whole Foods.”
Sara: “Yes, you can go pee pee at Whole Foods.”
Alex: “Noooo, talking to Evie!”

::Sara and I get coffees::
Alex: “Where’s my big coffee?”

Quote Monday rebels

Evelyn: “When I’m in college…”
::leaning close, voice dropping low::
“…I’m going to eat the Oh’s with the *honey* on them.”

See, my theory is that your children are going to rebel anyway, so you might as well deprive them as much as possible so that their idea of rebelling is eating Honey Nut Cheerios. My only hope is that by the time the learn to hate us, it will be too late! They will already have good habits.

Ollie: “I just want to walk around and see what Chicago looks like at night.”
Me: “Oh, that’s not really a safe time to go wandering around the neighborhood.”
Ollie: “Because of…are there werewolves?”

Me: “Alex, who put all this stuff in my guitar?”
Alex, with no hesitation: “Evie did it.”

Quote Monday knows how to deal with flies

::During birthday party::
Sara: “How many kids are still here? Do you know?”

Sara: “Is there a fly on the ceiling? What should we do?”
Alex: “Get hammer.”

::Alex had a scab on his knee that fell off::
Alex, panicked: “Ouchie knee missing!”

Quote Monday eats too much

Sara: “I’m going to write a grocery list.”
Alex: “Me help! Me help!”
Sara: “Okay…what should we put on our list?”
Alex: “Kwkwkwkw
Sara: “Okay, chicken. What else?”
Alex: “Strawberries!”
Sara: “Okay. How about cheese?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “How about coffee?”
Alex: “Yes.”
Sara: “Anything else?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Fruit flies.”

I was trying to get Alex to eat breakfast, because I knew when he saw that Ollie was eating scones, he wouldn’t want to eat anything else. Eventually Ollie got his scones and came over. Alex pointed at the scones and said, “Eat!” I pretended like I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Eat what?” Alex pointed at the scones AND HONEST TO GOD WINKED AT ME.

Alex: “Mrpghr”
Sara: “What?”
Alex: Mrpghr”
Sara: “How many pieces of meat are in your mouth?”
Alex, enunciating carefully: “Too. Much.”

Quote Monday has a healthy appetite

Alex, pointing at pizza furiously: “That! That!”
Me: “What is that called?”
::Alex thinking::
Alex: “Yum!”

Sara: “Alex, what would you like to have for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, not pizza, what else?”
Alex: “Pizza.”
Sara: “No, something else.”
Alex: “Cake.”
Sara: “No, not cake.”
Alex: “YES CAKE!”

Me: “Hold on, let me cut [your pizza] up.”
Alex: “No! Big!”
Me: “It’s too big. It will still be big after I cut it.”
Alex, getting upset: “Noooo! No cut it!”
Me: “Alex…do you want TWO pieces of pizza?”
Alex: “…Yes! Yes! Cut it!”

Sometimes it’s all about the presentation.

Me, to Sara: “Do you want me to make something for breakfast?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta?”
Alex: “Pasta!”
Me: “Pasta’s not for breakfast.”
Alex: “Bacon!”
::Me walking away to write down this post::
Alex, calling after me: “Potatoes!”

Quote Monday loses its marbles

Me: “Well, let’s see what IKEA coffee tastes like.”
Sara: “Desperation.”

Ollie: “How much does a Knight Fighter make?”
Me: “How much does who make?”
Ollie: “In the game of Life. There is a shortcut if you’re a Knight Fighter.”
Me: “It sounds like you’re saying ‘Knight Fighter’.”
Ollie: “I am! There is a special path, and you can go to Knight school…”

Sara: “Aw, Alex, did you lose your marbles?”
Sara: “No, apparently he lost his ‘narbles’.”

Evelyn: “In my purse I have my wallet, a band aide, lip balm, cuticle cream, and a fake phone.”
::Evelyn taking out an old flip phone::
Evelyn: “Hello!”

Evelyn acts so grown up all the time, it is always hilarious when she does something to remind you that she’s still a little girl. Sara always says, “If I’m not sure my daughter is still a little girl, I watch her eat a piece of chocolate cake…”