Quote Monday leaves the big city

::Visiting Muncie, Indiana::
Ollie: “You don’t even have to look both ways before crossing the street!”
Me: “You always have to look before crossing the street.”
::Car passes::
Ollie: “No, see! You can *hear them coming*!”

Evelyn: “This is the kind of street you only read about in books. Where your best friend lives next door.”

Alex: “A pencil!”
Sara: “Just leave it.”
Alex: “But I need it!”
Sara: “But you have many at home.”
Alex: “But I need many and one.”

::On the eve of Evelyn’s birthday::
Evelyn: “Just think 2 years from now I’m going to be saying, ‘this is my last day as a kid’.”

Uh huh.

Alex: “I’m going to weigh myself.”
Me: “What does [the scale] say?”
Alex: “It says big boy!”

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Quote Monday obliterates the summer reading program

::Evelyn turning in her Summer Reading Program sheet after the first week::
Girl: “And you read all of these?”
Evelyn: “And these six here. I ran out of room.”
Girl, under her breath: “Jesus Christ.”

Ollie: “We’re soldiers. Play us a marching song.”
Alex: “Jingle bells jingle bells…”

Alex: “We’re going to have pancakes for breakfast!”
Sara: “Oh yeah? Did Daddy tell you that?”
Alex: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh… I tell’d him that.”

Alex: “My pizza cutters are missing!”
Me: “Oh no we need a detective!”
Alex: “No, we need those pizza cutters.”
To be fair, it is hard to cut pizza with a detective…

Quote Monday has plans for tomorrow

Alex: “Remember when we came here yesterday and I ate a chocolate chip cookie?”
Evelyn: “I remember that, but it wasn’t yesterday.”
Alex: “Tomorrow?

Sara: “Are you doing lots of fun stuff?”
Oliver, enthusiastic: “Yeah! They have this thing called ‘Judge Judy’…”

Sara: “I love you sooo much.”
Alex: “I don’t. I’m angry right now.”

Me: “Would you like it in a bun?”
Alex: “Would you, could you in the dark? Would you, could you in the rain?”

Quote Monday hits the Grand Shibam

Evelyn, with a sigh: “I was so young back then. I was like 8.”

Alex: “I’m so glad you put a shirt on.”

Ollie: “Dad, we were playing kickball and I had one of those…bam shibams? What do you call it? Where you hit everybody in?”
Me: “…a Grand Slam?”
Ollie: “YES!”

I move to immediately rename “Grand Slam” to “Bam Shibam”.

Quote Monday hears “Laurel”

Alex: “I’m sick.”
Sara: “How are you sick?”
Alex: “I had a hiccup one time…”

::Singing Shape of You::
Evelyn: “🎵Shampoo like a nightmare too!🎵”
Me, laughing: “Did you just say, ‘Shampoo like a nightmare too’??”
Evelyn: “Yeah, what did you hear? Yanny?”

Quote Monday is embarrassing

Alex, seeing dogs in the park: “I must play with them.”

Overheard at a baseball game, from a mother to her daughter: “You’re a woman, you don’t want to live in Texas. Or Saudi Arabia .”

Evelyn: “We missed having coffee with Cops and Veterinarians!”
Sara: “…?”
Sara: “Oh, not that kind of ‘vet’!”

Ollie: “I call you, ‘The Embarrasser’ more than ‘The Daddy’!”

Quote Monday is hungry

Sara: “We’ll give you two little bites of broccoli because you’re two years old.”
Alex: “I’m not right now.”

Ollie, having movie theater popcorn for the first time: “This popcorn really hurts my lips, but I’m addicted to it!”

Evelyn: “Ollie, I’m having butter on my toast. What do you want on yours?”
Alex: “I’ll have avocado on mine!”

Me: “You have a lot of questions today!”
Alex: “Yeah. I have a lot of why’s.”