Me: “Next week you won’t see me because I’ll be in California all week.”
Alex, pumping his fist: “Yeah! I’ll be having my best life!!”

Alex: “You know you have two eyes and under that a nose and then a mouth? Does that look like a fire hydrant?”
Sara: “…Maybe?”
Alex: “Your face looks like a fire hydrant.”

Ollie: “Cowboys are always very helpful.”
Alex: “Maybe not this cowboy.”
Alex: “People LOVE this cowboy, even though he doesn’t help.”

Sara: “What happened to his eye?”

Alex: “His mother punished him for killing someone.”