Alex: “The last donut made the ouchies feel better.”

Same.

Alex: “Today we’re going to go to the museum.”
Me: “Oh yeah? You have to talk to Vania about that. She might say, ‘We already went to the museum this week, I want to go somewhere different.'”
Alex: “Yeah, she might say, ‘I’m tired of museums, today I want to go FLIPAROONIES!”

Alex: “[Ollie]’s up from the table. I assume he’s not going to have dessert?”

You know, at least if he’s repeating you it means SOMEBODY has heard you!

::guy aggressively tailgating me::
Me: “This guy is literally in my trunk.”
::The blood drains from Ollie’s face as he slowly turns to look behind him::

Okay, that one is on me, although I’d like to think I would have been a little less calm if there was *literally* a guy in the back of the car!