Evie: “I’ve been getting very angry lately, and I have to stop myself from saying some of the bad words from Billy Elliot.”

Evie: “But can I watch it someday?”
Me: “Well, I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But I know something starting right nowwwwww –”
Evie: “I’ll ask mommy.”

Ollie: “What I want for Christmas is SCOTCH”
::two seconds pass by::
Ollie: “…tape.”

Grandma Butterfly: “I’m just always cold. I told them, when I die they better toss a sweater in the casket, so I won’t be cold.”
Me: “Where you’re going, it’s not going to be a problem.”
Grandma B: “Well, I’ll see you there, then.”