Uh…should you be saying that?

There is a new billboard on the way to work. I’m…not really sure what they’re going for here.

(Note, not my picture, only proving this is not an isolated billboard!)

There’s nobody who looked at that and said, “Hmm. You’re on coke. That phrase sounds…familiar somehow. Maybe we shouldn’t run with this?” No ad exec or Vice President of Communications or anybody who said, “It *might* look like we’re promoting drug use here.”

I know, I know, someone is shouting at me, “They just wanted this to go viral, and you’re playing right into their hands!” I don’t know. Maybe. On the other hand, I am rather fond of Hanlon’s Razor:

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Words to live by. And also:

You’re on coke.

Quote Monday drinks a lot of smoothies

Ollie: “Mommies and daddies are needed for itchy people.”

Poor, itchy eczema boy.

Evie was working by herself at the table for awhile with scissors and paper. Eventually, she made Ollie a “nametag” and taped it on his chest (you know, so we would know his name I guess). Then she went back to work. “I’m making you a nametag too!” she said to Sara. Sara was doing dishes, so she wasn’t paying too much attention. After a while Evie finished up and, since Sara was facing the sink, pinned it instead on Sara’s back. Sara wore it around for a few hours until they got ready to go somewhere.

Evie: “Um, mama? Your nametag actually says ‘Pinch Me'”.

::We were sitting at a stop sign by our house and a big tanker truck went down a dead end::
Me: “I don’t think he’s going the right way.”
Evie: “Maybe it’s full of smoothies and he’s going to B’Gabs!”

Unbelievable Kale Salad

The first Friday of the month is reserved for recipes. You can see additional First Friday Food posts here.

The Reason:

As I mentioned on my last kale recipe, we had a LOT of kale in the garden this year. It just kept going, and going, and going. As a result, we were on the hunt for as many new kale recipes as possible, and we had a lot of really good surprises.

This is one of them; it is one of the best salads I have ever had in my life.

The Journey:

I don’t think of this as being a particularly difficult thing to make, but I guess when it comes to salad, it’s a little more difficult than the average. The original recipe says you can skip some or all of the “optional” part. You cannot. I will not allow it.

walnuts

The nice thing is that there are a lot of different steps that don’t need to be done all at once. You can do the walnuts, go away for an hour, come back and do the raisins, wander away again, do breadcrumbs, etc. Also, you’re supposed to let it sit for awhile anyway, so no worries on making it ahead of time. We’ve even put the breadcrumbs in ahead of time, and they don’t seem to get soggy or suffer in any way.

toasted breadcrumbs

The Verdict:

I do not get sick of this salad. It’s got everything; it’s tasty, unique, healthy, has a good texture, the works. It’s one of the best things I know how to make. We’ve taken it as a dish to pass for Thanksgiving, a school potluck, and a New Year’s Eve party. I don’t know anybody who’s tried it and hasn’t liked it.

I should note that we substituted pepitas for the walnuts, since the school potluck was a nut-free event, and it was absolutely just as good.

Kale salad

The Recipe:

Recipe from Smitten Kitchen.

  • 1/2 cup walnut halves or pieces
  • 1/4 cup golden raisins
  • 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar (we use orange champagne vinegar)
  • 1 tablespoon water
  • 1/4 cup breadcrumbs
  • 1 tiny clove garlic, minced or pressed
  • Coarse or kosher salt
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 bunch kale, washed and patted dry
  • 2 ounces (1/2 cup) pecorino (or parmesan) cheese, grated
  • Juice of half a lemon
  • Freshly ground black pepper or red pepper flakes, to taste
  1. Heat oven to 350.
  2. Toast walnuts on a baking sheet for 10 minutes, tossing once. Let cool and coarsely chop.
  3. In a small saucepan over low heat, simmer white wine vinegar, water and raisins for 5 minutes, until plump and soft. Set aside in liquid.
  4. Toast bread crumbs, garlic and 2 teaspoons of the olive oil in a skillet together with a pinch of salt until golden. Set aside.
  5. Trim heavy stems off kale and remove ribs. Cut kale into very thin ribbons crosswise and put in a large bowl.
  6. Add pecorino, walnuts and raisins (including all of the vinegar mixture), remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil and lemon juice and toss until all the kale ribbons are coated.
  7. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  8. Let sit for 10 minutes before serving, if you can, as it helps the ingredients come together.
  9. Just before serving, toss with breadcrumbs.

Me, the Campbell Award, and a Whole Lot of Free Stories

As it happens, I am in my second, and final, year of eligibility for the John W. Campbell “Best New Writer” award. The chances of me being nominated are essentially nil, but that’s not why I’m writing this post. No, I’m writing to tell you about the 2014 Cambellian Anthology.

Mr. Blake has been kind enough to once again compile a list of works from eligible writers, including myself, and provide it free of charge. This a MASSIVE tome of FREE FICTION from the best and brightest new writers speculative fiction has to offer.

As a final tally of what can be found within, this year’s volume includes contributions from 111 Writers, who supplied over 860,000 words of fiction. On a practical level, that breaks down to 29 novel excerpts, 15 novelettes, 113 short stories, 26 pieces of flash, and a poem…

I assume most of you reading this have read my contribution, “My Heart is a Quadratic Equation”, but here is your chance to read a metric ton of amazing stories from amazing writers, for free (limited time though, download now!). I know many of these writers, and they are all so incredibly talented. Even if you can’t read all 860,000 words, just jump around and pick a few at random. Maybe you’ll find a new favorite author, just before they break out.

The book is available in .mobi (kindle) and .epub (nook and everything else) format. If you don’t know how to open those files, there is additional information here, about halfway down. (DRM free, for those who care about such things.) I was able to open the .epub directly on my computer, without downloading any additional software.

Quote Monday has a purrrfect teacher

Me: “Do you know my phone number?”
::Evie, saying my phone number::
Me: “How did you know that?”
Evie: “Nala taught me.”
Me: “????”
Evie: “It says it on her collar.”

Ollie: “I like it when people get dead.”
Me: “You do??”
Ollie: “Well, not people I like.”

Me: “Ollie, were you doing something naughty?”
Ollie: “I don’t want to tell you if I was or not.”

Ollie: “I’m going to tell a story! Once a pot of time…”

That would make a great beginning to a time travel story.