Year: 2014

Quote Monday is taken out of context

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Mom, overheard whispering to Ron: “How are we going to feed the baby?”

I don’t believe any context is necessary on that one.

Evie: “If I was making a daddy trap, I’d put pickles, and popcorn, and ham and noodles inside.”

Me: “…but what would you *do* if you owned the Cowardly Lion costume?”
Matt: “I’d rather not say.”

Matt *may* have been involved in a totally different conversation and just been caught by one of those lulls where it suddenly goes silent for no reason, OR he could have been answering the question. I guess we’ll never know.

king of the forest

Grant My Powder Be Dry and My Aim Be True

/ Shane / 1 Comment

I am very pleased to announce my story, “Grant My Powder Be Dry and My Aim Be True” will appear in an upcoming “SHORTS” anthology from The Novel Fox.

This is both the longest story I’ve sold, and also I think the first straight up fantasy I’ve sold. Magic, gods, sword fights…well, here’s the synopsis:

A man awakens naked in a forest with no memory and no clues to his identity. he displays mysterious powers during a fight with bandits, and the swordswoman Lyse agrees to help him discover who, or what, he is. The answers may be more than they bargained for, when strange warriors capture them for unknown purposes. In time, the two learn that gods sometimes control the world less than they like, and the world is a changing place. Some gods prefer things the way they were.

As always, I will let you know when the book is available for purchase.

No Quote Monday Today

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Sorry everyone, no quotes today. Lots going on lately, and not much time to blog. Updates will probably be slim until at least after Thanksgiving.

So…how are you?

-The Management

Quote Monday is coming from the sewer (as usual)

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Ollie: “When I was taking a shower, I was hollering down the drain so the people would hear voices coming out of the sewer.”
Me: “Oh yeah? And what were you saying?”
Ollie: “Just regular sewer stuff. Like, ‘Hey, I can’t sleep down here because all this pee pee and poo poo is touching me!’ And Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

::Ollie choking::
Me: “Ollie, are you okay?”
Ollie: “Something went down the wrong tube. So I took it out and put it down the right tube.”

Ollie: “Evie and I slept in the same bed. We snuggled. She told me to, even when I had a diaper full of pee pees.”

There are zombies in Lake Michigan

/ Shane / Leave a comment

This is not a drill!

Actual headlines: “Crews Have Been Pulling Zombies Out of Lake Michigan” and “Coast Guard finds zombie floating in Lake Michigan”

The Coast Guard never gets enough credit for their zombie fighting powers.

It turns out there might be a logical explanation. We had some truly ridiculous weather here on Halloween, and it sunk a haunted house barge floating off of Navy Pier. The barge was full of Halloween props, including some realistic looking zombies, and they’ve been washing up on shore here and again, giving people a bit of a fright.

At least, that’s what the “authorities” are “claiming”. Be on your guard people!