This is not a drill!

Actual headlines: “Crews Have Been Pulling Zombies Out of Lake Michigan” and “Coast Guard finds zombie floating in Lake Michigan”

The Coast Guard never gets enough credit for their zombie fighting powers.

It turns out there might be a logical explanation. We had some truly ridiculous weather here on Halloween, and it sunk a haunted house barge floating off of Navy Pier. The barge was full of Halloween props, including some realistic looking zombies, and they’ve been washing up on shore here and again, giving people a bit of a fright.

At least, that’s what the “authorities” are “claiming”. Be on your guard people!