Me: “Ollie, I don’t want to hear potty words.”
Ollie: “I said, ‘boot’.”
Me: “Did you? It sounded like you said, ‘poop’.”
Ollie: “Well, I *wanted* to say ‘boot’, but it might have come out wrong.”

Ollie: “If you cut your hair, you look like Uncle Nathan.”
Me: “I do?”
Ollie: “Yeah, when you have less hair.”
Me, laughing.
Ollie: “Well, Uncle Nathan’s hair is more…white.”

Me, looking at Evie’s book: “So, what’s the secret of the museum?”
Evie: “The secret is that they’re opening an exhibit on ancient egg-o-pot.”
Me: “Can I tell you a secret? I think it’s ancient Egypt.”