::Ollie started petting my leg::
Ollie: “Oh, I thought that was a dog, so I just started petting it.”

Evie: “Daddy, you do NOT have bangs! HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

Yeah, yeah, daddy’s baldness is endlessly funny.

Me: “Ollie, unfortunately I think we need to cut your hair for the summer, so you’ll be cooler.”
Ollie: “Cooler?”
Me: “Yeah, cooler for the summer.”
Ollie: “Cooler to people?”
Me: “Less warm.”
Ollie: “Ooooh. Well…how can we make me cooler to people?”