Ollie: “When I toot when I’m talking, it sounds like I’m purring.”

Ollie: “Daddy, stop singing. I can’t hear my toots.”

Unnamed visiting child #1: “I like to eat my boogies. They taste like candy.”

Unnamed visiting child #2: “It looks like a corn popsicle!”
Me: “I was thinking that too.”
Unnamed visiting child #2: “We could call it copsicle. Or porn!”
Evie: “What’s porn?”