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The article covers all the most important design decisions: what type of hinges can best withstand the cold strong hands of the undead? Which type of siding makes it easier to hose off the guts? How big should my barn doors be to admit my modified jeep/zombie destruction mobile? What kind of square footage should I be looking at to store all the necessary food-stuffs?
In fact, the article even goes so far as to help you plan your pole bar for a time when the zombie horde has been defeated, and life can go back to normal. What better way than a zombie survival museum?
It’s called thinking ahead people!
Look, I have no idea if their pole barns are any better than anybody else’s pole barns. But at least I know that they are serious businessmen with serious consideration of serious issues. Would somebody please order one of these pole barns so that I know where to go in case of emergency??
You might expect that when a band has their first release in about 13 years, it might take them a minute to get their feet under them. Apparently, not so for Ben Folds Five. I don’t mean to say that they picked up where they left off exactly, but if you drew a line from Ben Folds Five to Whatever and Ever Amen to The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, and then extrapolated that line out, The Sound of the Life of the Mind would absolutely fall on that line. The album makes sense, and doesn’t rely on nostalgia. It’s just legitimately good music for people who used to like Ben Folds Five-style music.
Everything that made Ben Folds Five is present; they’re still the ironic nerd rockers they always were. Only Ben Folds Five could do a rock song describing the academic life as “rocking like a mother” (Rosa Parks and DNA, Joan of Arc and JFK), and then title their entire album after that song. Only Ben Folds could work a “don’t tase me bro” reference into a song, and the old Ben Folds Five irreverence is there too (If you can’t draw a crowd, draw d!c&s on the wall). All the old harmonies are there (listen to the first 30 seconds of “Michael Praytor, 5 Years Later”, and you’ll have no doubt which band you’re listening to).
Before listening to this album, I couldn’t have told you exactly how the “Ben Folds Five” sound differed from the Ben Folds solo-artist sound. But listening to it, there definitely is something different. Make no mistake, Mr. Folds has always been the one driving the truck as it were, but even though he used all the same tricks on his solo albums (harmonies, drum/bass backup, storytelling lyrics), it was different. The solo albums were definitely solo albums, and all of the non-Ben Folds, backup stuff really was just backup. You could have removed most of it without fundamentally changing the songs. Robert and Darren bring the bass and drums forward; without them the songs would be hollow.
“Do it Anyway” is a good first single, and showcases the fun side of the band, but for my money the best tracks are “Erase Me” and “The Sound of the Life of the Mind”.
When I last talked about Geek and Sundry, Written by a Kid had not yet premiered yet. Now it has, however, and it is awesome.
The premise is that they have a kid tell a story, and then they have someone direct the story however they see fit. Some of them are live action, some of the are animated, all of them are awesome. The best part is that the directors take the story very seriously, with real actors and special effects as if this were some big budget Hollywood script, while at the same time directing something that makes absolutely no sense (such as the elite police “squat” team coming it to take out the monster). The kids are adorable, the stories are great, and the production value is through the roof. Take a quick stroll through Goth Boy, Scary Smash, Fire City, or Kendall the Knight to see what I mean.
While you’re over at Geek and Sundry, check out some of the other great shows. TableTop continues to be one of my favorites. For a sampler, check out the Fiasco episodes Setup, Part 1 and Part 2.
Okay, I know that I’m a little late to the game, since these are super-well known (Wise Man’s Fear was a #1 New York Times Bestseller) but wow are these good. If you’re looking for the next big fantasy series, this is the one (er…the next big thing that’s already half way done, since it is a trilogy with 2 out of 3 books already out).
And when I say the next big fantasy series, I mean that literally (662 and 994 pages respectively). But I’m not joking to say that 1656 weren’t enough. Unfortunately, Mr. Rothfuss seems to be on the George R.R. Martin plan of book writing (making us wait forever and a day for the next gigantic, amazing book), so I think it will be awhile before we get book 3.
Hmm, what to say, what to say. If you’re into magic, and music, and plucky street kids, legends and how they are made, fairies and fighting and romantic interests, inn keepers, demons, and exotic foreign lands populated with secret ninja training, and (of course) a school for kids who do magic, then read these books. If you want to be swept up in an epic story with fantastic writing, then read these books. If you’re into fantasy, or not traditionally into fantasy but looking for a good intro into fantasy, read these books. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t like them.
Then come back here and we can discuss them. Highly recommended.
The bedroom door slammed open like it was kicked, and light spilled across my face, blinding me. “The fairies were here last night, I think they ate my grape!” said a small voice. I squinted at the clock and tried to make sense of what was going on. It was 12:34 a.m.
“Tomorrow I’m going to try leaving them a pistachio,” babbled Evie conversationally. Was something the matter? Was she having a dream? Why did she sound so chipper?
“Evie, what are you doing?” I asked. She faltered a little bit. “Getting up. It’s time to get up. The light came on.”
It turns out that Oliver had been messing around with the ghost lights the day before, and had accidentally re-programmed them to come on at 12:34 a.m. Evie, accustomed to it being dark now when she wakes up, and trained so thoroughly by the ghost light system, never questioned for a minute that it wasn’t time to wake up. How is that possible though? I was so tired I couldn’t even remember where I was, and here she is bouncing out of bed and chattering away. Wouldn’t you just know internally that something didn’t seem right? It wasn’t like it was anywhere close to waking-up time.
By the time I got into the bedroom, Oliver was already climbing out of his crib, ready to join his sister. So I had to get them settled back into their cribs, assure them it was, in fact, NOT time to get up, and turn off the lights. And the irony? With no lights to wake them up in the morning, they slept all the way until 7! So they were obviously tired.
I don’t know. It must be nice to be young, and just spring out of your bed at any hour of the day, ready to take on the world. I swear I was never like that, even when I was 5.
In what has become an annual event, Sara once again ran the Comer Classic 5k conveniently located in our neighborhood. However, this year there was an additional participant in the kid’s portion of the race.
We were really prepared for the worst, since the weather called for thunderstorms all day. However, the weather held all morning until just after we got home, it was unseasonably warm, and everybody had a great day. Sara even beat her previous time by an impressive 2 minutes and 11 seconds.
This year, there was again face painting, and the kids took full advantage. I am always stunned by how awesome people are at face paining these days. When I was a kid, you got a rainbow on the side of your face and called it a day.
Evie asked to be an angel:
and Ollie asked to be a “blue monster”. I’d say he fit the bill:
Oliver has never had his face painted before. I wish I would have had a video of him when the lady held up the mirror for him to see his face. Despite feeling her applying makeup all over his face, he was somehow completely unprepared for what he looked like. A slow smile spread across his face, and his eyes positively lit up. He spent most of the day baring his teeth. I’m perhaps a little biased, but he was far and away the cutest monster running around that day.
Finally, came the big moment: Evie’s race.
Evie has been looking forward to this for a year, no kidding. She was so excited to do a race. Just picking out her running clothes that morning was a whole thing. She could hardly wait until all the adult stuff was over to get to her part.
It was a little disorganized, but they finally got underway. Evie was in the youngest age group, and I really don’t think anybody else was quite as determined to give it their all the way she was. As she came whizzing past me, just the look of determination on her face, with just the faintest hint of a smile, told me that it was that perfect moment when you were a kid and you suddenly got everything you wanted.
It was a great moment while it lasted.
Afterwards, Evie was almost in tears. “I’m not even proud of this medal,” she said. It was a heartbreaking moment. I was worried perhaps she was upset that she didn’t “win”, which was something we had discussed before the race. “Why not, honey?” “The race was too short!” she lamented.
Evie has been training for this race, and taking it very seriously. Unfortunately, the race organizers did not take the 4-5 year olds quite as seriously, and just set up a little dash from one side of the field to the other. It wasn’t a real race, any more than someone saying, “I’ll race you to that tree! Go!” is a real race, and Evie knew it.
It was a sad moment, and my heart went out to her. She was right, but nonetheless I wish she could have held on to that one shining moment where she was flying over the grass and her fondest desire was achieved. So sad to see that ruined.
Shane Halbach 