Evie (about the hotel hallway): “It smells like champagne in here!”

Evie: “They keep smiling at me.”
Sara: “Who keeps smiling at you.”
Evie: “On the tv. I smiled and the lady smiled back.”

I guess we should have let her watch more tv after all. I wasn’t sure whether my daughter was a psychopath who thinks she receives messages from the tv, or if I should be creeped out that she really was receiving messages from the tv, ala poltergeist. Or, maybe tv news ladies just smile a lot.

Evie: “My tortilla tastes like carpet.” – This is what happens when you get used to eating food with no dough conditioners.

Evie: “Ollie, knock knock.”
Oliver: “Orange who?”

I guess her jokes are getting a little predictable.

Girl: “Daddy, can you help me with my sparkly lotion?”
My co-worker: “You’ll have to talk to your mom about that, that’s more her department. I don’t know how to do it.”
Girl: “But daddy, you’re an engineer!”

Something tells me she hears that a lot around the house.

Sara: “What did you do at the park today?”
Oliver: “Cough.”

He did have a cold.

Sara: “I want to show you something. Look on top of that building. There’s a big crane that’s used to lift very heavy things.”
Evie: “Oh, I thought you were going to show me something interesting.”

Evie: “Is this the right foot?”
Me: “No, it’s the left foot.”
Evie: “But is this the right shoe?”
Me: “Well, I hope not, because you’re putting it on your left foot.”
Evie, getting exasperated: “But is this the right foot for this shoe?”
Me: “No, it’s your left foot for your left shoe.”
Evie, sternly: “Daddy! I get the joke!”

Evie: “I think kale chips are the most delightful things in the world. Except, when I grow up, I’m going to keep putting salt on until I put on bags and bags of salt. And then when all the bags are empty, I’m going to eat them.”
::me laughing::
Evie: “Was that a quote?”
Me: “Yes, I think it was.”
Evie: “Do you need to write it down when we get home.”
Me: “Yes.”
Evie: “Oh geez.”

Evie: “If they didn’t have dishwashers, how did they wash dishes? They just licked everything clean, right?”