From the Mouths of Babes

Quote Monday is honestly a sasquatch

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Me: “Oliver, we can’t play the recorder while guests are still sleeping. It’s too loud.”
::time passes::
Oliver, coming back into the kitchen: “I’m having trouble finding a quieter toy.”

At least he’s honest, I’ll give him that.

Me: “A sasquatch is like a hairy man.”
Sara: “A cross between a bear and a man.”
Evie: “Are you a sasquatch daddy?”

Sara: “A tick was crawling on Ollie.”
Ollie, excited: “A ladybug was crawling on me!”
Sara: “He likes to take the optimistic view.”

Elsie: “Let’s make sand cakes for our mommies!”
Evie: “Yeah! Let’s make them poisonous!”

Quote Monday likes potatoes

/ Shane / Leave a comment

::Evie coming out of her room at bed time and finding us on the computer::
Sara: “Did Evie just catch us watching illicit cookie monster videos?”

People at the Library: “Carrots are good for your eyes! What is good for your ears?”
Children shouting: “Broccoli!” “Celery!” “Potatoes!”
Oliver, getting upset: “No! No! Potatoes are good for my mouth! No! For my mouth!”

Oliver can tell you where to stick your other vegetables, but don’t mess with his potatoes. Them’s for eatin’.

Me: “Oliver, I’m going to be cutting onions in here, they might make you cry.”
Oliver: “No, they make me happy!”

Me: “Evie, just…I need a little quiet for a second okay?”
Evie: “Am I getting on your nerds?”

Quote Monday saves money on meat

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Me: “We’re like the yin and yang of cheapness. We’re cheap about different things, but together we form the perfect circle of cheapness!”

Me: “Evie, if I see you spray your brother in the face again, we’re going to turn around and go home.”
::time passes::
Evie: “Since we’re getting ready to go home anyway, can I spray him in the face now?”

Me: “I can’t pick you up, how would I make supper?”
Ollie, tapping my arm: “One hand.”

Me: “Do you know what animal ham comes from?
Evie: “A hamster?”

Quote Monday is quite refined

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Sara: “Was he an adult or a teenager?”
Evie: “Well, I guess he must have been a teenager, because teenagers do silly things.”

In case you were wondering, the “teenager” in question was a 50ish homeless man, and the silly thing in question was prancing around naked in a public bathroom.

Sara: “Would you like to draw a picture?”
Oliver: “I would like to draw a holiday card for Darrel.”

The only thing he was missing was a “pip pip!”

Oliver: “I’m going to draw a new lip.”
::starts coloring on his chin with a crayon::

Okay, maybe he’s not so sophisticated after all!

Quote Monday talks in private

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Me: “How old is she?”
Evie: “Oh, she’s in her early threes.”

Evie: “Mama, can you make me a shawl?”
Sara: “Why don’t you put that on your birthday list?”
Evie, instantly sobbing: “But I don’t want a shawl bought from a store, I want one that’s homemade!”

This was so sweet!

Evie: “So, can I, can I?”
Sara: “I will have to talk about that with daddy.”
::Evie waiting expectantly::
Sara: “In private.”
Evie, nodding knowingly:  “So Oliver won’t hear.”

::Me playing Oliver’s kazoo::
::Oliver takes me aside and puts a hand on my shoulder::
Oliver, very seriously: “I asked you not to touch it.”