No context provided:
Nathan: “Amanda is out of control when it comes to men’s underwear.”
Me: “Yeah, well. She’s not the boss of the bathroom.”
Nathan: “I’m going to eat all of MY number two!”
Ollie: “Aunt Rachael’s skin is the color of sausage.”
From the Mouths of Babes
Quote Monday cries tears of pleasure
Ollie: “Mama, for the first time today, I cried tears of pleasure. I climbed the tree in the circle park. Even when I turned 5, I could not climb the tree, but today I was strong enough. I cried tears of pleasure when we were walking back to school because I could climb the tree.”
Ollie: “I’m going to do hip-hip-hooray with my baby.”
::Baby goes up, baby comes down, Ollie misses and the baby falls on the floor::
Me: “Oh no, your baby fell on the floor.”
Ollie: “Well, that baby’s still smiling!”
::Evie and Ollie playing with a box::
Evie: “Ollie, do you want to play poor person?”
Ollie: “Yeah, let’s play poor person.”
Evie: “Okay. I get the box, because I’m bigger.”
And that, in a nutshell, is what it’s like to be homeless.
Quote Monday adds some potty words
Evie: “Oh, by the way, Nala pooped in the bathroom downstairs.”
Me: “::sigh:: Okay. And you didn’t clean it up I suppose?”
Evie: “I’ll do that on father’s day.”
I’d like to note that Evie cleaned up cat poop on Mother’s day. So she wasn’t lying, at least!
Ollie: “Whenever I see food I get hungry, and my eyes keep leading me to these tomatoes here.”
Ollie: “No, no, ‘just like a stinky toot!’ See? I added some more potty words to it.”
What isn’t improved by adding more potty words?
Quote Monday has its faults
Me: “That was my fault in school: talking too much.”
Sara: “I didn’t have any faults.”
And humble, too!
Evie, breathlessly: “I look beautiful. I look like…a mom!”
Question our decision not to have a tv all you want; my 7 year old thinks the definition of beauty is, “a mom”. 😛
Sara: “The easiest way to tell if it’s a mammal is if it has fur.”
Evie: “Humans don’t have fur! Well, daddy does.”
Quote Monday has a short memory
Sara: “One time Evie was walking on a wall like this and she fell.”
Ollie: “Did she die?”
::Me finishing reading a story::
Ollie, wistfully: “And now, the olden days don’t come around anymore.”
Ollie: “If you make me clean up, then you won’t have any presents for your birthday!”
Me: “You know what present I would like for my birthday? A clean house.”
Ollie: “Well, it’s not your birthday, so you won’t get any birthday presents today.”
Ollie: “I wish you would never die, until you don’t know how to read anymore.”
Perhaps a bit more nicely phrased than the more direct, “As long as you’re useful to me, I will let you live.”
Shane Halbach 