Quote Monday has a short memory

Sara: “One time Evie was walking on a wall like this and she fell.”
Ollie: “Did she die?”

::Me finishing reading a story::
Ollie, wistfully: “And now, the olden days don’t come around anymore.”

Ollie: “If you make me clean up, then you won’t have any presents for your birthday!”
Me: “You know what present I would like for my birthday? A clean house.”
Ollie: “Well, it’s not your birthday, so you won’t get any birthday presents today.”

Ollie: “I wish you would never die, until you don’t know how to read anymore.”

Perhaps a bit more nicely phrased than the more direct, “As long as you’re useful to me, I will let you live.”

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