Evie Update

“Why I Should get a Bunny” – a persuasive essay by Evelyn

/ Shane / 4 Comments

Evelyn has been wanting a kitten. I mean, like, REAAAALY wanting a kitten. Coincidentally, this happened to coincide with her taking on the role of cleaning the litter box. “I think she’s got toxoplasmosis,” said Sara after the 15th time Evelyn brought it up.

They were gearing up to write a “persuasive essay” in class, and Evelyn planned to persuade us to get a kitten. “The answer is no,” I said. “You can write whatever you want, but there is absolutely no chance you’re getting  a kitten.” (My dislike of our cat is well documented…I’ve been waiting for this thing to die for YEARS.)

She cried about it a couple of times (we weren’t being fair, we weren’t giving her persuasive essay a chance, yada yada), but nothing too unusual. So I was very surprised when her persuasive essay finally did show up, and it wasn’t about kittens!

Why I Should get a Bunny

Dear mom and dad,

You know I have wanted a pet of my own forever. You wouldn’t let me have a dog or a cat, but what about a bunny? I have several reasons why you should get me one. The first is that I would buy mostly everything myself, (except the cage). The second reason is that Nala was okay with Gus when we took him for a week. The third reason is that bunnies are quiet. Nala is always meowing but bunnies are quiet. Even if it makes some noise it would be in my room. The fourth reason is bunnies need little space than other pets. The fifth reason is bunnies are easily trained. Like going in the litter box not on the floor. They can do tricks too if you train them. The sixth reason is that bunnies are very clean animals. The seventh reason is they will eat our leftover vegetables. The eighth reason is nobody is allergic. The reason you should get me two is bunnies do better with bunny friends. The ninth reason is bunnies do better as indoor pets, so if we get a bunny from a shelter if would be good. The tenth reason is we don’t need to give it a bath. The eleventh reason is they are only awake dusk and morning and not in between. The twelfth reason is they can’t throw up! The thirteenth reason is they only need three hours of floor time. The fourteenth reason is I promise not to pick a bunny up. The fifteenth reason is I also promise not to get a baby bunny because baby bunnies need their mothers. The sixteenth reason is if I get tired of it or it doesn’t work out, [my teacher] said she would take it. The sventeenth reason why is I will cover up wires it woudl want to chew on. I also want to say that they coust about $20 at BinkyBunny.com, but at other places it costs up to $250 to buy a bunny. The eighteenth reason why is they don’t stink at all, PERIOD. Another side note. There is awesome cages at Clover.Forest.net, it costs about $50! So for all of these reasons get me a bunny please.

Yours truly,
Evelyn

She obviously felt very, very strongly about this, so we decided not to shut her down outright. Instead, she is going to take care of Ollie’s class rabbit for a month over the summer (our previous experience with this was pretty positive). She even spent two mornings interviewing Ollie’s teacher about the care and feeding of rabbits, so she’s pretty well prepared.

Say what you want about Evelyn, but she is EXTREMELY responsible. I have no doubt she will take excellent care of Chocolate Cuddlewuddles (yes, the rabbit is named Chocolate Cuddlewuddles…that’s what happens when you let kindergarteners vote), and I have no doubt that she will then turn that into a plea for either a rabbit, or a kitten.

Spoiler alert: when Nala dies, we’re not getting a rabbit or a kitten. We’re getting a break.

Happy Mother’s Day

/ Shane / 3 Comments

So who else got a collage made out of obituaries??

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The boy with two mothers

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Evelyn has always been the “mothering kind” so the story I’m about to tell you should surprise exactly no one.

Yesterday evening, Ollie was complaining about his ear hurting, which wasn’t a huge surprise since they’ve both been sick and Evelyn is just getting over an ear infection. Ollie is not a big complainer, so we’ve learned to listen to him when he says something is wrong (because he won’t mention it unless it’s really, really wrong!) So we gave him some ibuprofen, lots of love and kisses, and tucked him into bed.

This morning Evelyn came skipping upstairs. “Boy I’m tired,” she said. “Ollie kept waking up crying all night long and I had to go in and check on him.”

“What do you mean? Why didn’t you come and get us?” I said.

“Oh, it was okay,” said our little ENT. “He had an ear infection, so I looked in his ear, and then we made a plan: I gave him his dinosaur and told him every time his ear hurt he should hug his dinosaur. Then I gave him a kiss and tucked him back into bed.”

Sure enough, when I went downstairs to wake him up I found him clinging to his dinosaur.

We tried to impress upon them that they really should get a grownup in situations like this (who, at the very least, could administer medicine)(NO CHILDREN ADMINISTERING MEDICINE), but…he was happy, she was happy…what are you gonna do, you know?

These kids, I tell you what.

(I especially like that she looked in his ear. How would she even know what to look for?)

 

Kid’s Rights

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I had a fairly ominous quote from quote from Ms. Evelyn the other day:

Evie: “Mama I was reading a book about children’s rights…”
Sara: “Oh boy.”
Evie. “It was very interesting.”

Probably the last we’d ever hear of that, right? I mean, that’s never going to come up again.

WRONG.

So the other day we were making chocolate covered strawberries, which Evelyn was *very* excited about. However, she was also sick, sneezing and coughing all over the place.

“Sweetheart, I can’t let you make chocolate covered strawberries while you’re getting germs all over everything,” said Sara. Hoo boy, was that the wrong thing to say! Evelyn was in a fine state.

“I know about children’s rights!” she said.
“What about children’s rights?” said Sara, while we tried not to laugh. “What does ‘children’s rights’ mean?”
“It means children have a right to do what they want!” said Evelyn. “And I’ve been learning about slavery…”

I may have snorted out loud at that point, thinking she was going to equate “not being allowed to make chocolate covered strawberries” to “slavery”, but she pulled up at the last minute.

“…and if people could get rid a thing like slavery, which is a really big thing, then I should be allowed to do strawberries, which is a little thing!”

In fact, I wholeheartedly agree with her that not being allowed to dip strawberries is relatively minor compared to slavery, although I’m not sure I buy the argument that children should be allowed to do “anything that’s not as bad as slavery”.

Unfortunately, though, this airtight argument did not help her case and we ultimately denied her request, no doubt violating her “children’s rights” in the process. I really need to get a copy of this book now, to find out what other atrocities I’ve committed. One time we made her try a bite of her supper before getting up from the table.

Look for me on trial in The Hague.

See Evelyn in Heidi!

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Evelyn is very pleased to invite you to Provision Theater’s presentation of Heidi! Evelyn is performing as part of the ensemble children’s choir, and since she will be yodeling along with accordion music, you might say I have been training her for this role her whole life.

This world-premiere adaptation of the perennial children’s favorite Heidi tells the story of a lively orphan girl who goes to live with her bitter grandfather in a little hut high in the Alps. Soon she is happy and healthy, leading a carefree life with her grandfather, her new friend, Peter, and the goats on the Alm. But Heidi’s happiness is short-lived when she is sent to stay with a rich city family as a companion for a sick girl, Klara. This new adaptation reveals the transformative power of a little girl’s ability to shine light into the lives of everyone around her–even those with a crippled spirit or a hardened heart.

March 26 – April 17
Performances on Saturdays at 12pm & 3pm & Sundays at 3pm
(No performance on Easter Sunday, March 27)
Special weekday matinees will be on on 4/6 & 4/13 at 10am

Tickets are $15 for adults & $10 for children 12 & under.

Evelyn does not get tired of people coming to see her perform, so she’s always happy to have friendly faces in the audience!