Author: Shane

The Scourge of Speed Cameras

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Remember that automated speeding warning I got last month? Guess what arrived in the mail this month!

Behold, in all our DANGEROUS, RECKLESS, glory:

Lock those monsters up.

Now here’s the thing. I would SWEAR to you that we were not speeding. We only went that way one time since we got the warning, so I know very specifically what day this happened. And I remember being very, very careful not to speed and saying to Sara, “Okay, help me watch for speed limit signs.” I did everything I could possibly do to not get a speeding ticket.

That’s my main problem with the whole thing: I was clearly trying my best not to break the law. I know for a fact that we were driving slowly and safely, with one eye on the speedometer. So don’t try to pretend this is about anything more than making money. Don’t try to pretend it’s about “safety” or “protecting children”.

I guess I was speeding. I can’t produce any evidence and anyway, they have video, so who am I to say? We were tearing up the road at a blazing 42 miles an hour, for the maximum possible fine, natch. How were we going > 10 mph over the speed limit? Well, supposedly we were going through a park.

I would SWEAR to you that there is no park on that stretch of road. I would SWEAR to you that there is no posted 30 mph speed limit sign. Maybe it’s in a bush or something?

So I started doing a little research. Turns out there is a park there, but there are some questions being raised about if that stretch was designated as a park just to get the speed camera installed. Notice the map below. The green rectangle is “Park No. 499”, and the green pointer is the “address” of said park.

Gee, I wonder why I hadn’t seen that park from S. Indianapolis Ave. before…

"park"

Maybe everything is on the up and up with these speed cameras. Maybe I was doing something illegal, got caught, and now I’m trying to pass the blame. Even still, I just don’t think that we should set up a system that incentives the police to do the wrong thing and then hope that they don’t. More people “caught” = more money in the city’s pocket, and there’s no way for us to check up on this, or prove our innocence. So we just have to assume that the city is going against their own financial interests, and not “cheating”.

And then you read this.

Turns out, the city of Chicago was caught illegally lowering the length of yellow lights on intersections with red light cameras installed, resulting in an “extra” $7 million in revenue. Whoops.

The city agreed to fix it, but only because the Tribune looked into it.

Who’s going to look into it for every violation?

Quote Monday plays it by ear

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Sara: “Oh, you decorated a pumpkin? Is it a bat?”
Evie: “No. It’s a pumpkin with decorations on it.

Me: “S-H-A-N-E. Do you know what that spells?”
Ollie: “Daddy?”

Me: “Some people have the ability to ‘play by ear’. That means they can just hear a song and then play it.”
Evie: “That’s not what ‘play by ear’ means! Playing by ear means when you don’t make a plan and see what happens.”

::Ollie going to the bathroom. Evie comes in and flushes his toilet.::
Ollie, whispering into the toilet: “I’m sorry Mother Earth, but my sister did it.”

A conservationist at heart.

::Ollie found a penny when we were going into the grocery store::
Ollie: “Can I swipe this through the machine to pay for the groceries?”

I’m a slave to the masses

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Lots of people messaging me, facebooking me, etc. to see a picture of me in the hat. Well, ask and you shall receive.

One thing’s for certain: if you tell a 4 year old photographer to “make sure he gets the hat in the picture”, he makes sure he gets the hat in the picture.

fedora

“Copy Machine”, now in Polish

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Following last month’s translation into Galician, my story “Copy Machine” is now available in the Polish magazine Szortal (pronounced “shortal” for us English speakers).

One more step on my way to world domination…

Just in case our family wasn’t loud enough already, we bought a piano

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We have been planning to buy a piano for quite some time. The kids have been saving every penny they have for almost a full year, starting with Christmas presents last year. I have to say I am VERY impressed with the determination and focus with which they saved. Pretty impressive for two kids their age to stick with it for so long.

It’s kind of amazing how much money the kids were able to save up. We told the kids we would get a piano when they had saved up $200, so they put forward a pretty significant amount of money. A lot came from Christmas and birthday gifts, but really it came from everywhere: tooth fairy money, psych experiments, and any change dropped on the street in a 3 mile radius. It was kind of funny; when we finally opened up the “piano bank” to count the money, it was full of hundreds of the grubbiest, nastiest street pennies the city of Chicago has to offer.

We bought the piano from Keys 4/4 Kids, a “501(c)3 nonprofit organization that accepts, restores, and sells donated pianos. Proceeds from piano sales support music and arts programs for local youth.” Corbin was suuuper nice and helped us pick out an absolutely beautiful piano. Evie got her heart set on it immediately, so of course we ended up buying one that was at the tippy-top of our price range.

However, it was worth it, because Evie has just had a blast with that piano. She plays it every minute she gets. She’s decided she would like to be a “famous composer” when she grows up, and the floor around the piano is currently littered with the “sheet music” she’s creating. The two current favorites are “Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater” and “Love Me Tender” (taught by Grandma Kathy). One or the other is played about ever 5 minutes, so they have a way of sticking in your head.

a girl and her piano

Looks like someone will be ready for some piano lessons, if you’re thinking of Christmas gifts!