Evelyn: “When I’m in college…”
::leaning close, voice dropping low::
“…I’m going to eat the Oh’s with the *honey* on them.”

See, my theory is that your children are going to rebel anyway, so you might as well deprive them as much as possible so that their idea of rebelling is eating Honey Nut Cheerios. My only hope is that by the time the learn to hate us, it will be too late! They will already have good habits.

Ollie: “I just want to walk around and see what Chicago looks like at night.”
Me: “Oh, that’s not really a safe time to go wandering around the neighborhood.”
Ollie: “Because of…are there werewolves?”

Me: “Alex, who put all this stuff in my guitar?”
Alex, with no hesitation: “Evie did it.”