Me: “Do you think there will ever come a time when I will be able to sit down and drink an entire cup of coffee?”
Sara: “…”
Sara: “Wait, I’m still calculating. 2034.”

Me: “I’m just trying to be argumentative like my daughter, and automatically take the opposite viewpoint of anything you say.”
Evelyn: “I don’t necessarily do that…”

Sara: “Evelyn, we should have [your friend] over for dinner sometime.”
Ollie: “And can [her friend]’s dad come to? He just seems like a fun guy.”