What a ridiculous, delicious, science fictional time we live in.

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, you may not have heard of “Unmanned Aerial Vehicles“, also known as “UAVs” or “drones”. Basically they are little flying planes or helicopters, piloted remotely (or not at all). Some of them, such as the Predator drone, are capable of carrying out Hellfire missile strikes for the Air Force, while others, such as the Global Hawk, fly completely autonomously.

Like anything these days, technology continues to get cheaper, smarter, and smaller. You can pick up a self-stabilizing R/C helicopter at your local Toys R Us for under $20. For a little more money, you can get your very own camera-equipped spy copter.

Naturally, if I can get a spy-drone delivered to my door for less than $90, you can bet that all manner of nosy neighbors, Orwellian secret government agencies, paparazzi-style news magazines, creepy old men, and your favorite social networks will all shortly be monitoring your every coming and going. In fact, it would be foolish to think they’re not doing it right now.

Sounds awesome! But what’s in it for me?

Delivery of your hearts desire, anywhere in the world, within 30 minutes, that’s what.

Let’s start with the “Burrito Bomber“, the “world’s first airborne Mexican food delivery system”.

It works like this:

• You connect to the Burrito Bomber web-app and order a burrito. Your smartphone sends your current location to our server, which generates a waypoint file compatible with the drone’s autopilot.
• We upload the waypoint file to the drone and load your burrito in to our custom made Burrito Delivery Tube.
• The drone flies to your location and releases the Burrito Delivery Tube. The burrito parachutes down to you, the drone flies itself home, and you enjoy your carne asada.

You can see a video of the Burrito Bomber in action here.

Burritos not really your thing? How about the TacoCopter, already in operation in the San Francisco Bay area. ALREADY IN OPERATION people.

Amazon has already announced the “Prime Air” program, wherein a drone would air-drop you a package in 30 minutes or less.

 

Is there any doubt this is going to happen? Of course not, it’s too convenient. Too awesome. Too inevitable.

The FAA is currently scrambling to lay down regulations for commercial drone usage, with a congressionally mandated deadline of September, 2015. But regardless of the deadline, this is coming, sooner or later. As a species, we have shown time and time again, that we will give up freedom for the illusion of safety, privacy for convenience, and personal and intimate details for a really good search engine.

I will happily give up the last shreds of my privacy, the last hope of a peaceful, empty sky, the last quiet moment of oneness of nature, for a still-warm, queso covered burrito, air-dropped to my location in the middle of a remote forest.

Any product, in my hand, 30 minutes? Make it so, congress.