Evie: “Ollie, someone colored on this book.”
Ollie: “I didn’t do it.”
Evie: “Well I didn’t do it. Aunt Anna likes to color on lots of things, maybe she did it.”

Me: “Ollie look, there are pickle ornaments!”
Ollie, pointing to a Chicago Bean ornament: “And look, there are schnozcumber ornaments!”

It does, admittedly, look like a schnozcumber.

A co-worker received the following email: “Congratulations! You are the lucky winner of the Microsoft lottery! Since this is not a virus or spam, please click on the attachments to register…”

I guess they figured if you’re dumb enough to believe in the “Microsoft lottery”, you might also be dumb enough to believe *anything* you’re told.

Evie: “One of the things I like about a funeral, is you can drive through red lights.”