Sara: “I’ve got an e coli covered knife with your name on it.”

Evie: “If I had to pick a best night, I would pick [the night that I spent 4 1/2 hours at the emergency room because I couldn’t breath], because most nights I just lie there sleeping.”
Sara: “Yeah, well…I guess that did shake things up a little bit.”

Me: “Ollie, I don’t think mama said, ‘poo poo snackies’.”

Ollie: “I have a looong booty.”

That boy does have a long booty. It is impossible to buy shorts or pants that can actually cover his plumber’s crack.