Me: “Ollie, why weren’t you wearing any underpants today?”
Ollie, very seriously: “Because, the teachers hid them from me.”

Ollie: “Will you play jewel with me?”
Me: “Sure.”
Ollie: “Okay. I’ll be the banana.”

Ollie: “I just gave mama a super-squeeze hug.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What does that feel like?”
Ollie, thinking: “Like a lemon.”