Tips from the Great Outdoorsman

My father, the master outdoorsman and great white hunter, gave me the most amazing hiking / hunting tip I have ever heard.

“If you’re in the woods and you have to go and you don’t have any toilet paper handy, you just cut the pockets out of your pants and use those.”
“You cut out your pockets??”
“You can always sew new pockets in. It’s better than ruining a perfectly good pair of pants.”
“Have you ever done this?” I asked, bemused.
“Of course not,” he scoffed, “I always carry tissues.”

That’s a real thing that just happened. Is it too late to get a book deal for “Tips from the Great Outdoorsman” staring my dad?


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