ShaneHalbach.com

Search Term Roundup

Here we have yet another search term roundup, in which I ruminate about the strangest Google search terms that have lead weary Internet wanderers to my doorstep.

“Skeletor frozen in ice” – We can only hope that Heman was also frozen in ice, to be thawed to combat the future menace, a la Demolition Man.

“awesome” – I don’t know what they thought they would find googling this term, but I’m glad my website came up in the search! I’d like to think it was the first result.

“the awesomest guy ever” – Two hits on this! Two! Thank you for the recognition Google! 🙂

“is this thing on dating website” – I’m not exactly an eligible bachelor, but maybe we could set something up for single commenters? Do I have any single commenters?

“stuffed animal bacon” – The hard part is cooking it long enough to make it crispy. However, I have to admit, Oliver does have a stuffed animal bacon.

“black and asian couples” – Boy, Sara and I to a “T”, I tell you.

“word for “things were better in the old days”” – Is there such a word? If so, I’d like to know it.

“where’s oliver?” – Must be getting desperate if you’re resorting to Google searches. Well, you found him!

“famous black man” – I’m so happy to think that someone searching for famous black men, instead found Sean Connery. Or, maybe it was Sara googling to find the name “Sean Connery”, and she succeeded.

“big sticky wad” – What do you suppose they were looking for? Why do you think they found me?

“hp lovecraft dinner party” – I hope they came to my website looking for my contact information for an invitation, because that sounds awesome!

“t-rex lick people” – I don’t believe that is historically accurate.

“kale chips jokes” – That’s pretty specific. I wracked my brain trying to come up with a kale chips joke to put here, and I think it’s just not possible.

“funny threats” – I’m going to kill you with a rubber chicken! Drown you in seltzer water! Slap you in the face with a poison cream pie!

“i-like-it-salty shane” – That’s right baby. I like it salty. (I really can’t deny, I do like salty things. Salty things.)

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3 responses

  1. these are hilarious. My google search terms are always the same.
    WhatZombiesFear
    What Zombies Fear
    What Do Zombies Fear
    What are zombies afraid of

    I never have anything cool. 😦

    Like

    May 3, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    • Being known as the guy who knows what zombies fear isn’t cool enough? 🙂

      By the way, you might want to check out the zombie apocalypse page on my brother’s blog (http://baconbach.wordpress.com/zombie-apocalypse-plan/). Lots of robust discussion in the comments.

      Like

      May 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

      • Will do! Have your brother check out my other site too, zombiepreparedness dot com 🙂

        Like

        May 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

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