When Sara sent me Wired’s list of the 5 best toys of all time, I was a little skeptical.

First off, how do you quantify “best”? Most anticipation? Best bang for the buck? Most total joy experienced by children? Second off, best is pretty subjective. How could everybody agree? Is it just one guy’s opinion? Do you take a poll? Do you install joy-o-meters in kids’ skulls and measure it electrically? What kind of sample do you use? Surely people of different races and genders would have different favorites. I was never into My Little Pony, but it certainly had a following. And this list is “of all time”. How do you account for different time periods? Does a hoop with a stick make the list?

This is Wired, so it’s probably a gadget. An iPad maybe? Surely Wired would say that’s a better toy than, say, a rocking horse (which doesn’t even have apps). But then again, most of the time these lists like to go retro. The original Nintendo? But is that better than the current Nintendo, with all of its technology? A Lite Brite? But then again, what could you really do with a Lite Brite?

Yes, I was getting a little riled up. I could only come up with one item I was absolutely sure had to be on the list: legos.

So, it was with much anticipation (and derision) that I opened up the list, ready to absolutely hate it. There is much justification over at the original article, but if you don’t want to read it, I will give you the list below:

5. Dirt
4. Cardboard Tube
3. String
2. Cardboard Box
1. Stick

TOTALLY NAILED IT.

That list is 100 times better than any list I could have composed. Without question, those are the 5 greatest toys of all time (of ALL time, with a few of them going back a lot further than my hoop-and-a-stick). I have had a heck of a lot more fun with those things than any toy anybody ever bought for me.

Which kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

I’m not sure what would be in the total top 10, but I would vote for “a roll of tape”, and “pots and pans”. Any other additions you’d like to add?

Link via Sara.