A Very Red-Neck Christmas

In which we try to answer the age old question: does Santa’s neck mach his suit?

After purchasing our land, we apparently weren’t quite ready to return to the Big City, so we decided to stop and see Santa. At the Bass Pro Shop.

Now, you might be thinking that the Bass Pro Shop is a strange place to go see Santa. However, there were a few major advantages:

  1. Conveniently located off the highway (important when we usually have to go pretty far out of our way, a.k.a. the suburbs, to see him)
  2. Much smaller lines than we have experienced at various malls
  3. They give you a free picture (because they’re trying to draw you into their shop, making money on you in other ways than directly on Santa)
  4. Commercial Santas are WAY better than crazy-Frank dressing up in his homemade Santa suit (in other words, a big upgrade from what we saw last year)
  5. They had some awesome decorations

The combination of #4 and #5 really improves the quality of the pictures. Santa was very authentic. And even though you can’t see the animatronic elves in the picture, I never had an actual reindeer in the background before (you really can’t tell it is stuffed in the picture!).

The downside was that there were no less than three different types of shooting games for the kids to play while they were waiting for Santa. If you’re a hunter, I’m sure you’re bristling at me indicating that this is a problem. Let me remind you that shooting guns means something a little different in our neighborhood, and I’m not really ready to have that conversation with my 4 year old.

I definitely felt like we stood out like a family of sore thumbs there.

Sara: “Are these people in costume?”
Me: “Huh?”
Sara: “Do you think they wear this stuff every day, or did they put it on to come here?”

Methinks it was time for the City Mice to go back where they came from.

I would definitely go back there next year. Quick, hassle free, and the whole place is sort of amazing, even when you take Santa out of it. There’s a two story waterfall! Mounted wolves attacking a mounted moose! Camouflage pick-up trucks fake ramping off of fake rocks! Several tanks of live, large fish swimming around! I’m not sure that the kids found Santa to be more interesting than the rest of the place. I certainly didn’t.

4 thoughts on “A Very Red-Neck Christmas

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