Every April Fools’ day, Think Geek, puts up a host of new products. Of course, these products aren’t available for order, just as a joke. However, they fool me with this every year. Why? Because the products are so ridiculously simple, and so ridiculously desirable, there’s no reason NOT to make them. For the most part, there are no technical barriers to creating these products, and yet there is a demand. Why make it a joke? Why not just sell the products? (Note that it has happened in the past, that they did end up making a product, since the demand was so high).

So here are some of the products that you CAN’T BUY, but you should be able to!

First up is a lovable plush toy that any child would love (come on Rachael, even you have to admit it is adorable!).

It’s not just a stuffed animal, it’s also a puppet. It even says, “I’m bacon!” when you squeeze it. And who doesn’t love the tag line, “You’ve got a friend in me(at)!” The sooner you encourage the consumption of bacon, the better the lives of the children will be. Please, think of the children!

Product #2 is really for all the Lost fans out there. Now, instead of just dreaming of Desmond, you can wake up like Desmond, with a Dharma alarm clock.

Once the alarm begins, punch in “the numbers” on the keypad or suffer the consequences! No simple snooze button on this one, you have to type in the complicated numbers and hit enter. And if preventing the end of the world isn’t enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning, then I can’t help you. (And, if you are a true Lost fan, I would recommend watching the short video showing the clock in action!)

Finally, the third product is both interesting and frightening, at the same time. The “Tell Me Your Secrets” Bear.

Kind of reminds me of the Robot Chicken intro.

So, let me allow Think Geek to explain this one:

When hugged, he’ll profess his love for your child, and stress that friends always share their secrets. He’ll ask, “Do you have a secret, best friend? You can tell me anything.” When the bear completes a trigger phrase, the audio and video turns on, recording your child’s secrets, which are then wirelessly transmitted to you via email.

Now even the most despicable, spying, hovering parent has a friend they can turn to!

Okay, maybe that last one is pushing the bounds of believability, but the other two are totally doable.

By the way, if you actually want to buy any of these products, you can go to their website and click to show interest…I’m guessing that at least some of them will show up as real products before too long.