I wish I had telekinesis. I would use it to push the cat downstairs and close the gate whenever she is meowing outside Evie’s door before 6 a.m. When I’m lying there wishing death on the cat, I think of all sorts of things I could do with telekinesis. I could sweep her out of the hallway, confine her to a room, put her in a little telekinetic box and squeeze her until she shuts up, give her a little push every time she meows until I taught her not to meow. The list is endless.
I really do need some superpowers though. I always thought it would be nice to have Superman’s heat vision so that you could clear the ice off your windshield in winter. I used to have the power to randomly get free cookies at any Subway, but I haven’t been to one in so long that I don’t know if that power is still functioning. I probably got that power by working at Subway for so long, kind of like being bitten by a radioactive spider, so it might get weaker and weaker the longer I work at a desk job. Or it could be controlled by the phases of the moon. Superpowers are complicated like that.
I always forget how bald I am until I see a picture of myself from the top. I was looking at one such picture the other day and I was quite amazed at the perfect little oval of hairlessness. Then it occurred to me! What if I am developing an invisibility power, and so far it only manifests itself over my head?
So look for me to be invisible in the future. (Well, don’t literally look for me, because I’ll be invisible) Anybody else have any interesting super powers?
Shane Halbach 
Both of my super power wishes have to do with driving: Transform into a tank and run the idiot over, or to have laser vision to bore a whole through their tiny brains, or if I am feeling generous just burn through all 4 tires.
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I bet when you wrote this blog post you thought it would get more responces huh. It turns out I have the superpower to dominate college kids in grades. Also from doing so much yoga I can throw Fireballs, and Val my instructor says Im pretty close to teleporting.
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No, not really.
I often ask people to discuss things in the comments, but people rarely do. Plus, this one was the day after Thanksgiving, when people probably weren’t on the Internet as much.
No, the posts that always get a lot of comments are videos of Evie, or some totally random post that I never would have guessed (like a discussion about peanut butter and cheese sandwiches)
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I guess you’ve matured a bit since the last time we had this conversation. Freshman year at Purdue, didn’t you want the power to fly? Not so that you could actually fly, but so that you would never again have to stand up. You could just levitate out of the chair and then put your feet down.
I still want to be fluent in every language. Now more than ever, since my Norwegian is atrocious!
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Ha ha! I totally forgot about that one!
I’m not sure I’ve matured at all, since all of my superpowers still center around being really lazy…
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