There was a great article listing things that people actually said during job interviews. They’re all pretty good, but I’ve listed some of my favorites:
What are your hobbies and interests?
“[He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.'”
Do you have any questions?
“If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?”
Why are you leaving your current job?
“I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes.”
What are your weaknesses?
“I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”
“I am an alcoholic and do not deserve this job.”
“I’m really not a big learner. You know … some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that’s just not me. I’d much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn’t change a lot.”
Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
“I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.”
“Wow — I’m not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?”
“May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.”