You have been warned!

Ollie, whispering: “I don’t want to get Alex in trouble, but he’s under the table eating my cookie.”

Alex: “I like books about fighting…and car crashes!…and fires! …and I don’t have ANY books about car crashes or fires!”

Alex: “Can we do jokes? Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Alex: “I eat mop.”
Me: “I don’t want to do that one anymore.”
Alex: “Okay, I’ll do it with myself. Knock knock, who’s there, I eat mop, I eat mop who? Ha ha ha!”

Me: “When iron Man died, I cried.”
Sara: “I’m sure it was really sad in the movie, but when you say it out loud I have to laugh.”

Sara: “Do you smell coffee?”
Alex: “I smell…toots and chocolate, mixed together.”

That is…kind of not the worst description of the smell of coffee I’ve ever heard.

Alex: “I hate it.”
Grandma S: “You hate it?”
Alex: “That’s how you say you don’t like something.”

Sara: “Tell him 8:15. Can you remember that?”
Alex: “I can keep it in my head!”
Alex: “…As long as I don’t talk too much.”
Sara: “What time is it again?”
Alex, sadly: “…I forgot.”

Evelyn: “What are all the names of the spices?”
::Sara and I looking at each other like all the spices in the world, or…?::
Evelyn: “Like Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Sporty Spice…”

Alex: “I’m still Captain hook, but don’t call me that because I’m embarrassed.”

Alex: “His name is Tarley.”
Me: “Charley?”
Alex: “Yeah but I say “Tarley” because I can’t speak that language.”

Alex: “There’s one [instruction] book for each language. There’s Spanish, England, and Chicago!”

Sara: “No, no more bacon.”
::Taking away the bacon::
Alex, wailing: “Do you want me to die??”

Alex: “Where’s Evie?”
Vania: “She went to school.”
Alex, getting angry: “Well I know where school is, I’m going to drive there myself!”
Alex: “Can you help me put on my shoes?”

Alex: “Why is it dark outside?”
Sara: “Because you’re wearing sunglasses, goofball.”

Ollie: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Alex: “A teenager!”

Alex: “What are you playing?”
Grandma Kathy: “It’s called words with Friends.”
Alex: “Can I play?”
Grandma Kathy: “You don’t know how to spell!”
Alex: “I know how to spell Alex! A-L-E-X. Can I play now?”

Alex: “Grandma, I told you three times already! I am running out of patience!”

Alex: “I wonder what my kids will be named?”
Sara: “You know you get to name your kids?”
Alex: “Huh”
Sara: “What would you name them?”
Alex: “Evie and Ollie, so they’d always be with me!”

Alex: “I am not going to bed without dessert! I am going to get up in the night, and…dance!”

Well, that will teach us.