Quote Monday is short, but shocking

::Alex saying something::
Me: “Clinton Mondo?”
::Alex saying something::
Me: “Compton igo?”
::Alex giggling::
Alex: “You’re saying all kinds of funny words, you must be a baby!”

::Ollie working on homework::
Ollie: “I have to write all the steps to do something [and draw a picture].”
Sara: “Okay, well what do you want to write the steps for?”
Ollie: “How to make a baby.”

I think this is my first ever photo quote….

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Yes, please add those items to my shopping list! What a helpful app!

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That time I opened up my toe

It should go without warning, given the title of this post, but this one is not for the squeamish. If terrible injuries and incredible bad luck being visited on your favorite blogger do not appeal to you, perhaps sit this one out.

Way back in the middle of summer, I had to run some compost outside. I keep my Birkenstocks by the back door for just such an occasion, so I grabbed the pail, slipped my feet in there like a pair of old gloves, and trotted outside.

These Birkenstocks. They have been a part of my life for more than 20 years. They’ve outlasted relationships, outlived pets, and generally served me well. However, since they were replaced as my primary sandals, they’ve clearly been spoiling for a chance to get a little revenge.

See, as I was coming back inside, they caught on the lip of the stairs, tripping me. I mostly recovered, except I clipped the very teensiest, tiniest, tip of my toe against the stair, just enough to catch my big toenail on the lip and flip it up at a 90 degree angle.

I didn’t know what to do, so I ran inside. Alex was the first to greet me. “Daddy opened up his toe!!” he cried excitedly. I was…not as excited.

The thing is, you don’t realize how important your big toe is for walking until you can’t use it. It was *extremely* difficult to walk to and from work, and by the end of the day I was in a lot of pain; not just from the toe itself, but my whole foot would ache from using various muscles I was unaccustomed to using as I tried to keep my toe from touching anything as I limped along.

The even worse news was this happened shortly before we were scheduled to leave on our multi-week Yellowstone vacation, a vacation which involved a LOT of planned hiking. Luckily for me I recovered just in time…the first day I was able to walk somewhat regularly was also the first day we planned to have a long hike (well we planned on a two mile hike, but we accidentally went on a four and a half mile hike! So good thing I was somewhat healed up!)

Caring for my toe consumed me for nearly the entire duration of the trip until the toenail finally fell off altogether near the end. You wouldn’t think losing your toenail would be a positive, but at that point I was ABSOLUTELY DONE with that toenail, and losing it made everything instantly that much better.

The whole thing has obviously weighed heavily on Alex’s mind, as he has periodically asked me things like, “Dada, can you open up your toe again? I want to see inside.” Just the other day, months after the incident he randomly said to me, “Remember that time you opened up your toe, but the only thing inside was blood?”

I don’t know what he expected to find inside…a pot of gold? Candy? A handy little pocket for carrying spare change?

Sorry to disappoint.

In fact, my gross toe became such a thing, that while we were on vacation we came upon the most over-the-top, artificial, sugar packed cereal ever to grace this green earth. Upon seeing it, Evelyn said, “That looks grosser than your toe!”

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Well, reader, I will let you decide. Which looks grosser? Feel free to vote in the comments.

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(You knew there was going to be a picture, right? I mean, you had to know it was coming…)

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Happy Halloween!

Ollie’s Dragon Costume – Behind the Scenes

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Quote Monday already knows about potty humor

::Alex trying on some of Ollie’s old clothes::
Me: “What? How can this fit you, you’re just a little guy! This is crazy!”
Alex: “So here’s my number, so call me maybe.”

Oliver: “You know our big buddy’s are seniors? Well two of them are in love! They kept hugging each other… They hugged *five times*!”

Me: “[People gas] said the only reason the technician wouldn’t have shown up is if there was a gas emergency.”
Alex, with a big grin on his face: “I have a gas emergency! I have to go to the doctor!”

How does he already understand how jokes work? How is he already into potty humor??

Apple Picking, 2018

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The Race

Another year, another 5k in the books! And as usual, the face paint game was on point:

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Unfortunately we were really too busy to do much in the way of practicing this year. I think we only managed a few, and never more than about 2 miles. So that’s why it was a bit surprising that I got a personal record! 34:37 this year; SIX WHOLE SECONDS better than last year. 🙂

I think it just speaks to how much healthier I am overall than I was even a year ago, to be able to improve my time with almost no practice. In fact, I’m proud of the entire family for being able to run sub-35 minute 5ks at the drop of a hat!  (And if you’re wondering if I sprinted ahead at the last minute and beat Sara by 13 seconds, yes. Yes I did.)

Two years ago, Oliver ran 32:57 and won his age group. Unfortunately we didn’t see that coming, and left before his name was announced. If you remember the story from last year, he ran even *faster* (29:13), only to be beaten by a different kid named Oliver!

BUT

We later found out that the Oliver who won was actually riding a bike! So our Oliver DID win his age group for a second year in a row, and he missed out on his moment of glory a second time!

This year he somehow improved by several minutes once again, throwing down an amazing 27:13! Unfortunately, he also jumped up an age group, which means he’s competing against 14 year olds, and he only came in 17th in his age group.

Sorry buddy. You did run your heart out though, and beat your parents by a landslide.

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Alex has been insisting that he was going to run this race. Usually he can make it about…half a block maybe? So we were all set to have him do the kids’ dash. He waited all day for it, and was super excited. He lined up and Sara and I got ready to take the inevitable adorable pictures, when…he just didn’t. He wouldn’t go. Just stood at the starting line watching everybody else run.

Eventually Evelyn picked him up and ran down to the finish line, where he received a medal. “I’m really proud of my metal!” he confided to Sara the next day.

As long as everybody is happy.

Afterwards we were all quick to replenish those calories we had so carelessly wasted running around for no reason…

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I guess that’s another one in the books!