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This could have actually happened

Last night I had a dream that Sara was driving, and I was navigating. We were trying to decide between two routes to take. Ultimately, Sara opted to take the slightly longer route because the asphalt was “made from whole wheat”.

Ollie Update

It’s been awhile since I’ve sort of talked about what Oliver is up to developmentally these days.

He’s talking a LOT. It appears that the fears of those who thought he might not talk that much because his older sister/chatterbox wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise are unfounded. He’s up to about five word sentences these days, and they are pretty understandable sentences too. He definitely lets you know what he wants and what he doesn’t want.

He has also discovered the concept of “two” and will often point out when there are two of something, like “Two clocks!” or “Two water bottles!” So far this doesn’t extend beyond two, but if I remember correctly from Evie, it will be awhile yet before he gets more than two. If you say, “I one it,” he will say, “I two it!”, but after that he immediately jumps to, “Ollie ate it!”

He also loves singing, and sings little snatches of songs spontaneously. It’s funny because he usually gets the tune, so you know what he’s singing, but a lot of the words are sort of nonsense approximations of the actual words. You can tell, though, that he’s singing just for the pure joy of singing, which is hard not to find adorable. He does tend to get stuck in infinite loops though, repeating one phrase endlessly, like “Little lamb! Little Lamb! Little Lamb! Little…”

His favorite thing to do is to get the stool out of the bathroom and use that to turn the lights off and on. This is rather unfortunate. I much prefer his second favorite thing to do, which is to work in the play kitchen. He mostly makes coffee and things that are “very hot!”, including oatmeal, which usually turn out to be cups and pots full of necklaces or crayons. He’s very good at entertaining himself, playing at the kitchen or reading books to himself, sometimes for hours.

He’s getting pretty good at climbing stairs, to the point that we’re considering removing the gates in the near future. He likes to have a book in his crib at naptime, though I don’t think he does anything with it, other than just sort of stare at the cover while he’s falling asleep. He likes to “float” in the bathtub and doesn’t mind getting his ears or even really his eyes wet (very different from Evie in this respect!).

Not so much on the potty training. At first, he was going in the potty all the time, and we thought it was going to be so easy. We were soooo smug. Well, he’s all done with that. We’ve been putting him on the potty every night before the bath and other times throughout the day, and he’s gone in there maybe once in the past three months. Furthermore, just getting him to sit on the potty is a big struggle. Total reversal from our early successes. I guess all we can do is keep doing what we’re doing, and hope he changes his mind.

It’s always very interesting to me watching how Evie and Ollie interact with each other. There is so much love between them, it is really amazing. I guess I’m not surprised that he adores her so much and copies her every movement, since he’s the little brother and older kids are just so cool, but I am sort of surprised at how much she really thinks of him. If he’s hurt, she cries. If he cries, she tries to make him feel better. She is always asking him to play with her, and she doesn’t seem to mind at all when he’s following her around, copying her. I assume that will change at some point, but for now it’s very sweet.

Of course nobody can frustrate them like each other either, so you take the good with the bad. They always want whatever the other has, and they can’t help taunting each other with whatever the other wants. Oliver in particular is very protective of whatever he has, getting upset if Evie so much as looks at it. I think this is sort of a survival technique on his part, since her looking at it is often followed by her demanding it, or saying, “I had it first!”

In other words, they are brother and sister.

The Daily Sob Fest

Whining and crying have become the constant background noise for my life.

Evie is going through an extremely difficult phase at the moment. Everything is “wrong”: she didn’t want to wear her snow pants, she DID want to wear her snow pants, you picked the wrong hat, you won’t play hide and seek, you found her too quickly when you were playing hide and seek, you weren’t supposed to sing along, you WERE supposed to sing along, etc.

Picking out clothes for the day is particularly difficult. The daily power struggle got to be such a hassle, that we had to make a rule that Evie is no longer allowed to pick out her clothes. Whatever an adult picks, she has to wear.

I don’t know that this has been a success exactly. We did get rid of the power struggle, but we replaced it with over an hour of sobbing, pleading, and whining every morning. Her socks don’t feel right. She wanted a dress today. She DIDN’T want a dress today. Her tights don’t feel right. Her turtleneck doesn’t feel right. Her pants don’t feel right. The thing is, it really doesn’t matter what you pick, it’s not like you could have made a different selection and avoided the whole disaster, she just automatically demands the opposite of whatever you pick. Only to have the whole thing repeated again at night with pajamas.

Did anybody else have this issue with their 4 year olds?

I’m just so tired of constantly fighting with her, constantly telling her to hurry up, constantly threatening her with everything from, “You’re going to miss breakfast” to “Should we call school and tell them you’re not coming today?” to “No story tonight, you missed your chance”.

When Evie was one, everybody said, “Just wait until she’s two.” When she was two, they said, “You think that’s bad? Wait until she’s three!” Then it was four, and I have to say, that’s the worst so far. I’m hoping it gets better from here, since nobody has yet told me, “You think four is bad? Wait until you see five!”

A Eulogy

My Aunt Sue wrote a eulogy for my Grandma, which was so much better than my own attempt. I felt like it really captured the essence of my Grandma. Anyway, here it is:

Mom was born to Bert & Elizabeth Tow, a twin to William. The twins were separated at an early age and my mother was raised by her fraternal grand-parents. When she was in her teen years she went back to live in Detroit with her parents and brother where she graduated from the Dominican high school. Upon graduating from a Catholic all girls’ school she thought she would go into the convent. Anyone who knows her will chuckle; someone who had 7 children certainly didn’t belong in a convent.

My mom & dad lived in several towns before settling down in Janesville. My mom took on several roles in her life, not only as mother to us but to several other children in the neighborhood. She was the disciplinarian as my dad worked 2 and 3 jobs to support our family. Mom tried to go to work for a little while outside of the home but that didn’t prove to be profitable. With 7 kids, it was hard to find a babysitter for that many children. My mom had to try to salvage some kind of sanity so she volunteered at Mercy Hospital as a (Pink Lady).

My parents were very proud people; they taught us a good work ethic, and how to love one another. They were proud that they never had bad credit, which was a worry my mom had till this day. My mom lived a long good life. She went more places, saw more countries than she had ever imagined. That in part was due to her children being sprinkled around the world at different times.

Talking with the Snyder girls in July and reminiscing about times when we were young and listening to how much my mom touched their lives, it makes one stop and realize how other people were touched by her kindness.

My mom told me one day that she made me into the person I am today and I guess that is a correct statement. For if it wasn’t the hard lessons I was taught, the parenting skills I learned, the kindness and love for my siblings and closeness of family, I would be a different person. We always knew that we were loved. My mom was a good story teller. She should have been a best selling author. Mom had a good sense of humor. Erin from Hospice tells me she was visiting my mom and she told her she had food on her chest, to which my mom replied, “I am saving some for later”. Just recently when it came time for the hospital bed, so it would make her life easier, she flipped flopped on wanting the bed. I asked her why and she said, “Because she didn’t want to die in a hospital bed; she wanted to tide in her own bed”. I told her we didn’t want her to die, so that’s why she was going in the hospital bed. She STUCK OUT HER TONGUE AT ME.  That meant to me that she really knew what was good for her but change was hard for my mom to accept. She hated to ask for help. She hated losing her independence but also was smart enough to realize what was in her best interest.

I am selfish and sad to let her go. But I know my mother was a Christian and a child of God. She will be in heaven and I will see her again when the Lord calls me home.

Let’s celebrate her life and share our memories and stories of BETTY JANE CATHERINE ANN ELIZABETH TOW HALBACH together.

I love you mom,
Susan Mullen

Quote Monday has gone soft

Me: “Can you teach me to purl? I want to knit tonight when I’m watching football.”
Sara: “Quote!”

In case you’re worried I’ve gone soft, I’ll have you know it wasn’t all knitting…I also folded some laundry. Then, when everything went bad, I even consoled myself with a ginger beer.

You have no idea how many statements in this house are followed up by, “Quote!”, “Now there’s a quote!” or “Put that on your e-blog daddy!”

Me: “I thought I’d make some oatmeal for breakfast today.”
Evie: “Looks like we’re back to our natural habitat!”

Sara: “Who’s that actor who was in that movie where he was a violin teacher?”
Me: “No idea.”
Sara: “He’s older, black, super famous…sort of rotund?”
::me throwing out every possible suggestion::
Sara: “Never mind, I’ll find it.”
::Internet searching::
Sara: “Finding Forester!”
Me: “Wait a minute…wasn’t that Sean Connery? Your rotund black man is Sean Connery??”

The Blackest Man in America
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