zombie apocalypse

The Barony

/ Shane / 6 Comments

Back in May, I mentioned our nefarious plot to set ourselves up as Land Barons. Well, it’s official! We bought our land!

Proud Owners

It’s amazing how everything came together. This property was not even on our radar to begin with, but after some things fell through with some of the other properties, we found the perfect place. I’m so glad things did fall through, because this place was way better than any of the other places.

Number one, it’s huge! It’s over 20 acres, which is almost 8 times bigger than we started out looking at. Second off, it’s very close to Lake Michigan, and very close to a really awesome vacation town with shopping, restaurants, and tons of festivals. Third off, it’s full of really old, tall, amazing trees (mostly oaks and pines), and is very easy to navigate around on, because there is very little undergrowth (probably due to a combination of the sandy soil and the large, shady trees. Fourth off, did I mention it’s huge?

The children immediately ran off into the woods and were never heard from again

The fact that we actually own this property now is sort of hard to wrap your head around. All of this land is ours. All of these huge old trees are now owned by us. How is such a thing even possible?

Me, taking a trophy of our conquest

At the closing today, the realtor pointed out that when we started looking for land, Oliver couldn’t even walk yet. That seems like an impossibly long time ago.

We didn’t get to spend much time on the land today, since it was raining, but we did have to go and just sort of feel it for a minute. Evie did find time to christen the land (if you know what I mean…better get used to it, there’s no bathroom facilities there!). It makes me kind of sad that there’s no real reason to go back until Spring.

So phase 1 is now complete, and now we can move on to phase 2: fortifying against the zombie apocalypse!

The Mobile Zombie Safehouse

/ Shane / Leave a comment

You know, the first step in a lot of zombie apocalypse plans is to find some kind of safe place to hole up. Usually you take something that is moderately safe to begin with, like your house or the corner store, and then fortify it in some way. However, most people will tell you that mobility is your best ally, which tends to conflict with the first part. But some outside-the-box thinkers are selling the best of both worlds: I give you the mobile zombie safehouse:

Click for Larger

Big enough for two (probably not very comfortably, but this is the zombie apocalypse we’re talking about here), and yet you can carry it on your back. I love the picture at the end, which implies 1) that the “reflective camouflage” is so good that a person can’t easily spot those things without an app, 2) that cell phone towers are still functioning, and 3) there are so many people with mobile zombie safehouses, that they’re literally sprinkled all over this field (which seems to be pretty zombie-free to begin with). Oh well, if their marketing saves even one person from being eaten by a zombie, that’s a job well done!

Link via Nathan.

CDC recommends preparing for the zombie apocalypse

/ Shane / 1 Comment

The other day, the Center for Disease Control, more commonly known as the CDC, released a statement saying that Americans should be prepared for the zombie apocalypse.

I have to say, this validates everything. This isn’t just some crazy blogger out there, this is the CDC we’re talking about.  WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT WE DON’T KNOW??

Their blog has some good zombie apocalypse tips, such as “Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home”. They even have special badges to use on webpages:

I’m telling you man, when someone who knows from diseases like the CDC tells you to be prepared…a part of the U.S. government…it’s time to be on your toes!

Link via Barb (and many of my other informants in the Zombie Information Network).

Zombie Proof House

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Just to prove that you *can* have your cake and eat it too, someone made a really awesome looking house that can go into total, zombie-proof lock down mode. The first ever zombie-proof house!

This house can go from open-and-airy, like this:

To total concrete bunker, like this:


This place even has a drawbridge to the only entrance (which happens to be on the second story):

I think it’s awesome. If you told me you were building a zombie-proof, concrete bunker, I would tell you it was a great idea, but I never would have imagined something that actually seemed as nice and livable on the inside as this. And notice some of the nice features, like the concrete wall running around the property. They don’t give many details about the other required features of a zombie-proof house, such as generators, food storage, access to clean water, etc., but it seems like the kinds of things you would have included if you went to the trouble of making foot thick, concrete blast doors.

I’m not really sure if this is zombie-proof, but I think it’s got about the best chance of any real place I’ve ever seen.

Link via Ben.

Why waste your time planning for all these OTHER ridiculous disasters…

/ Shane / Leave a comment

…when there are real, actual threats you should be planning for!

Link via GraphJam.