Here we see our two contenders, ready to once again revive that age-old Thanksgiving day test of skill and determination: the potato olympics.
Tools are selected and the competitors are ready to begin.
What’s this? A paparazzo has actually climbed a ladder outside to get a sneak peak at the peeling event in progress!
Despite an extremely serious wound, this competitor soldiers on. Not even blood loss can prevent him from completing the event.
After multiple bandages are applied to various parts of the hand, and the sobbing children have been escorted from the room, the competitors prepare for the third and final round; the cutting event. No more accidents please!
After a laborious and scientific judging system is enacted, the score is all tied up! Who will win the coveted bragging rights?
Based on a last minute steal of an opponents potato, swift cut, and subsequent taunting dance, a style point is awarded to Rachael! It’s all over folks! It’s all over! In a surprising finish, Rachael has taken the victory for the 2013 potato olympics!
Thanksgiving is a holiday centered entirely around gluttony. I used to think it was THE holiday centered around gluttony, but I think if you extend gluttony to the full sense of the word, then Christmas takes the cake (no pun intended). Thanksgiving is more relaxed. Thanksgiving is kind of a simpler, gentler form of gluttony, giving you a nice, warm tryptophan haze through which to view football, rather than a manic, anxiety ridden, grin-plastered-to-your-face-bolt-it-down-so-we-can-get-to-the-next-hedonistic-present-fest, Christmas-style gluttony. Thanksgiving lets you push all that rampant consumerism to another day (specifically the next day, on Black Friday).
As you most likely know, I have a very large extended family. Both sides. And in either case, no one person could ever possibly feed them all. Because of this, all major functions tend to be potlucks.
I’m a big fan of potlucks. They simply cannot be improved upon. I would much rather have a lot of little bits of many dishes, and get a chance to try out everything, than one big helping of even my favorite foods. However, because of this, I’m not sure I’ve really developed certain dishes that are a “must have” for Thanksgiving.
Turkey, of course, and I always like mashed potatoes when I can get them. Stuffing is kind of hit or miss; when it’s good, I really like it, but there’s a good chance I won’t. I usually try for a piece of pumpkin pie because I don’t often have it, but honestly, I prefer apple. Other than that, I have three family-specific dishes that come to mind: grandma’s pickles, grandma’s buns, and Aunt Kris’ brown sugar bacon wrapped weenies. However, I do get those last three at multiple family events throughout the year, so I’m not sure they count.
How about you, gentle reader? Anything in particular that says, “Thanksgiving” to you? What’s your favorite dish?
Sara: “Today is Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That today is Thanksgiving.”
Sara: “No, I mean like on a daily basis what are you thankful for?”
Evie: “That I’m going to eat lots of pie today.”
Sara: “But more in general what are you thankful for?”
::passing a homeless person::
Evie: “I used to pretend to be a poor person during relaxing time until you took my blanket upstairs.”
::Pulling up for Thanksgiving::
Ollie: “Are we going trick-or-treating here?”
This was after he had brought in a bunch of Christmas books in the morning, so I think he was a little confused about what exactly Thanksgiving was.
Evie: “The Thanksgiving parade is like the Memorial Day parade, except instead of candy, they could throw chicken!”
::Ollie bursting into tears::
Ollie: “Push me out, push me out! Somebody pushed my chair in!”
Sara: “I think you just ate too much, buddy.”
Ah, once again we find ourselves on that most magical of holidays,
Gluttony Day Thanksgiving!
Enjoy your giant meals, your football, and your poker playing (maybe that’s just my family?), and think back to a simpler time, before Native Americans regretted all the help they gave to those first Pilgrims.
I’m not going to list all the things that I’m thankful for, since I did that last year and it pretty much covers it for this year too. I don’t know that I have anything new to add.
So sit back, eat up, and enjoy the first interesting Thanksgiving Day football game involving the Lions in my lifetime. Go Packers!
Burning those Thanksgiving pounds off with a Friday morning dance party. Harry Chapin, John Denver, and Don McLean. Evie and Oliver don’t seem too much worse for the wear, but I am a sweaty beast.
I think we have a new tradition…
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you enjoy the only holiday centered entirely on gluttony. Halloween might be close, but you have the whole costume thing, and then Halloween isn’t followed up by Black Friday (which could probably make a case for being more a more gluttonous holiday than Thanksgiving).
This year, I’m thankful for the following things:
- My job. It’s not that I’m in danger of losing my job or anything, but the many examples right now of how hard the economy is serve as a contrast between being able to go to Paris with my family. Even simple things, like buying organic, would be difficult with a lesser paying job, to say nothing of no job whatsoever. So I am thankful that Sara and I can provide, and provide well, for our family.
- My wife. Parenting is as difficult of a job as I can ever imagine. It’s one I wouldn’t want to tackle without a partner. Sara continues to challenge me (and certainly there are times I find her challenging, har har) to be a better, healthier, more complete person. Whether it is eating more naturally, consuming less sodium, getting more exercise, flossing my teeth, or impacting the environment less, she keeps my natural laziness and apathy from preventing me from being a good person.
- My happiness. Even though parenting two children can be quite un-happy at times (especially at about 4:30 a.m. and again at about 6:30 a.m., plus any time of the day that Evie chooses to make difficult), it has a way of evening things out. All of the rough parts can be wiped out pretty quick by getting a phone call from Evie or a big smile or a laugh from Oliver. Nobody can welcome you home like your kids, and nothing beats opening the door to “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy’s home!” being screamed as loud as possible. Add in too many hobbies to keep track of (micro-managing my blog, playing guitar, fantasy football, my stack of magazines I can’t keep up with, etc.) and I really don’t have enough time in the day for all the good things.
- My country. This one is a little ironic, because most of the time recently I’ve been hating my country. But then I realized that was politicians I hated, and politics in general. The things I’m thankful for include the freedom to do what I want and the highest standard of living money can buy. Everything I like in the world is underpinned by having opportunities made possible by living in this country. Freedom, access to technology, knowing my kids are going to be (more or less) alright. There are a lot of things I don’t have to worry about, like war or famine, and that opens up time for me to do other things. Like watch football. The fact that we can even debate things like healthcare are a pretty good sign that our lives are going alright. We probably take this for granted too often.
- My safety. Another year with no zombie apocalypse folks. That’s one more year to prepare for the inevitable onslaught…