Woody Harrelson gets attacked by zombies

And apparently often, since he mistakes regular people for zombies. Although, something tells me it’s not the first time he has mistakenly think he was being attacked by zombies. Which leads to the obvious question, if a zombie ate Woody Harrelson, would he get high? And should Matthew Mcconaughey be on the lookout for the undead?

Last Thursday I was in D.C. for a software demo and two funny things happened. First off, right as we were about to begin loud sirens began blaring over the phone and a voice announced “Emergency, emergency! Please exit the building!” as if there were some kind of bomb scare or something. I think the guy was trying to tell us that he would call back when he could, but since we couldn’t hear him over the sirens, he just stayed on the phone forever with this message repeating endlessly. I guess it’s not like he went to the bathroom during the demo, but it certainly was interesting.

The second thing that was funny was this guy was giving his part of the presentation and it was B  o  r  i  n  g with a capital B. Everybody was doing the heavy eye, head-bob thing trying to stay awake. Suddenly he stopped talking and then said, “Hold on. My computer fell asleep.” My co-worker almost imploded trying not to laugh. Apparently even technology is not immune to his monotone voice.

I don’t know where she gets this stuff from, but how did I end up with a daughter who asks for her ear drops to be put in her ear and the thing she is most excited about from her Easter basket is her Elmo Toothbrush. She made out pretty good from the whole Easter thing, as Sara said, “She got as much as a normal person should get for Christmas.”

::FLUSH::

Recently my co-workers were giving a demo at a very large company, a fortune 500 company actually, and right in the middle of the demo the entire room heard a very audible very distinct ::FLUSH:: from someone who had dialed in on the conference line.

Obviously you try to be professional and not crack up during a demo, but seriously?? At a respectable place of business you can’t just wait until the demo is over, or at least figure out how to mute your phone? And, let’s be honest, as cool as our product is I think you can stand to miss the demo if you have some sort of bathroom emergency!

That reminds me of a funny story actually. When I lived in the dorms at college, we had a shared bathroom obviously. One time I was minding my own business in my stall when the guy sitting in the stall next to me says, “Hey!” I paused for a little bit marveling over this ridiculous breach of bathroom protocol and I say, “Hey.” I didn’t think I knew him but I wasn’t sure if maybe he was a guy from down the hall or something. Then he says, “What’s going on?” and I reply, “Uhh…nothing.” Given the story above, you can probably see where this is going, but I quickly realize he is not talking to me at all, he is actually on the phone. I felt pretty foolish so I decided to get out of there fast so he wouldn’t see who I was. And I got a little bit of revenge too when I flushed my toilet and I heard him say, “No, no I’m not in the bathroom!  I’m in my room!”

But still, at least he wasn’t attending a software demo. I wonder if it could have been the same guy, all grown up?