Trying out some new looks

I had this beard that I grew. It kind of started as a joke, but then I didn’t think it looked half bad, so I just kept it. You’d be surprised at how much of a difference it makes when it’s really really cold (although very annoying when your moustache freezes)! And anyway, growing facial hair is about the easiest thing for me to do. I kind of can’t NOT do it: I can just stop shaving for about 30 seconds and *fwoomp* there’s a beard.

At first Sara hated the idea of a beard, but then after a day or two when it grew in all the way she didn’t say anything about it. I kind of figured that, like me, she was surprised at how good it looked! Not so. She was just silently hating at that beard as hard as she could.

Long story short, that beard is no more. So in the meantime, I’m trying out some new looks. What do you think, the James Hetfield?


Or perhaps the…uh…Charlie Chaplin?


I’m hoping to one day work my way up to a full on General Burnside:

Portraits from the world beard championships

You know I’m not going to miss an article with a title like that!

Seriously, these are pretty great though. They range from the fantastic to the mundane.

The Fantastic

I like how they have themes, like the Sea Captain, the Lumberjack or the Old-Timey-riding-one-of-those-bicycles-with-a-huge-wheel-in-the-front guy(s).

The Captain
Old-Timey-riding-one-of-those-bicycles-with-a-huge-wheel-in-the-front guy

I like the commitment to the look: I’m not just going to grow the beard, I’m going to also captain a ship. The pictures themselves are good too, I like the plain background, washed-out-with-flash, no smile seriousness of these. A serious pose for the serious business of the world beard championships.

Wait a tick, did that article mention a show called Whisker Wars???

Link via Sylvain.

Wanted for Skullduggery

One morning I woke up and my victory mustache was gone. Its work was done, and it rode off into the sunset, like the Lone Ranger.

My brother’s ‘stache, on the other hand, decided to hang around. It has since morphed into something a little different:

So, if you see Snidely Whiplash skulking around tying women to train tracks, it’s probably just my brother. Please return him to me. In the meantime, don’t try to transport any money by train, and beware old-timey piano music. That is all.

V is for Victory ‘Stache

My brother showed up to my mom’s wedding with a ridiculous mustache. He is currently running an election campaign, and he explained that a few people had made a pact that they would not shave their mustaches until they achieved victory.

That’s when I realized that I had this amazing natural resource that I wasn’t using in any way. And why not put my upper lip towards a good cause, and help my brother win his election? Thus, another victory ‘stash was born.

(though of course, we should give props to the original victory ‘stash)

I have always been a big fan of ever-changing, ever-more-ridiculous facial hair. Sara, however, is definitely not a fan of facial hair. I tried to explain to her about a man’s right to choose what he wants to do with his body, but she’s not buying it. Ugh, women! So insensitive. They give you a wedding ring, and then they think they own you. Well, this man is more than just a piece of meat! I’m a piece of meat with a mustache!

And quite honestly, I’m just so tired of being the most handsome man in the room. It’s such as hassle; it’s practically a disability. So I just need to handicap myself a little bit, to bring it down to everyone else’s level.

So far, the best part of having the mustache is watching people flounder around with what to say. Sometimes they say something like, “Uh…wow!”, or sometimes they say nothing at all. In either case, I can just see this process going on behind the eyes like, “I know him to be a reasonable man, and yet…” It’s like they just can’t process it. I just get to imagine these little conversations in their head, like, “Should I laugh about it, or does he honestly think that looks good?” It’s so fantastic.

I guess I can spot the people who think that I think it looks good, because they say something like, “Hey, I like the mustache! It looks good!” Okay, now how am I supposed to take someone seriously after that? Either they really think it looks good, which is kind of silly, or they don’t, in which case they are just lying to me.

I think the problem is that my mustache is not yet ridiculous enough. When it reaches epic proportions, then people will be less inclined to think I’m just an idiot. Then it will be patently obvious that it looks awesome, and nobody will feel the need to mention it, or give me fake compliments. Because then all the compliments will only be real.

Anybody have a good mustache wax vendor?

Hand, Foot and Mouth

Some friends came to visit over the weekend and, unfortunately, Evie wasn’t feeling very well. On Sunday, Evie woke up at 4:15 (Happy Father’s day!) and proceeded to have an absolute fit until maybe 6. It was a doozy and I was very embarrassed to have her behaving as such with company over. It’s one thing for us to wake up at 4:15, but quite another for the entire building to wake up then.

We soon realized she was sick with a cough, a runny nose and a slight fever. She’s pretty much always sick though, so we decided to proceed with our plans anyway. We hit up the Pirate Exhibit at the Field Museum…so maybe it was a successful Father’s Day after all! She had a good time at the museum, but on the way home she was clearly exhausted.

Sara had noticed that she had a rash on her hands and was a little suspicious, but later when Evie fell asleep and Sara took off her socks and shoes to get her into bed easier without waking her up, she confirmed her suspicions when she saw a rash on Evie’s feet. It was not surprising, therefore, when we noticed some sores on Evie’s tongue: she had hand, foot and mouth disease. I will save you from seeing some of the awful results that show up in an image search, but if you’re a glutton for punishment it is quite disgusting.

We confirmed with the doctor that there is really nothing we can do except ride out the virus. Our friends wisely ducked out once it became obvious that “irritability” and “tiredness” (which are more or less the same thing) were actual side effects, not just the idle threats.

So we had a couple of rough days, although she seems like she is on the mend now. She can’t bring her plague to daycare this week, so her grandparents are staying with her.

I feel really bad for her because she was probably as miserable as she has ever been in her short life. One of the things we did to help her feel better was allow her to watch a movie. Now keep in mind this is only the second time we’ve ever let her watch T.V. The first was an Elmo potty video. And you can tell she doesn’t see much T.V. because when the movie started and Tinkerbell came out and painted the Disney logo, Evie said, “That was great!” and jumped down from her seat and made to leave.

The height of movie technology

The height of movie technology

She enjoyed the movie, especially the songs, but she got bored before the end. One of the best parts for me is when she went over to our cat and said, “Nala, I’m watching a movie about you. You’re big now.”

(Note to grandparents, this does not mean she’s allowed to watch T.V. whenever!:) )

Another funny thing that happened this weekend, obviously we were taking her temperature a lot due to her illness and, as usual, she replicates what she sees. Therefore there was a very awkward moment for both Sara and I independently when she pretended to take our temperature…let’s just say we don’t take her temperature orally.

In completely other news, the other night I had a dream that I was in Wisconsin and I got a fine for not having a moustache.